Dear Friends and Family,
It is hard to believe that a year has passed since Eric died. So many tears. So much
heartache. So much sadness. So much acceptance. So much love.
I feared the advent of this month and the horrible memories it would recall. And yet, I find
the fear was greater than the actuality. March will forever be a sad month. I still recall the awful sense of
doom the night of March 4 when the police knocked on our door to tell us to rush to the hospital. I still recall the
unbearable stress and fear and helplessness of the twenty days Eric was in intensive care. I still recall the crushing
grief as Eric died while I held his hand - the awful sound of the monitor alarm as his heart stopped beating and his last,
soft exhalation.
Yet, March will also be a loving and uplifting month. I recall the tremendous number of
people who visited Eric, at all hours of the day and night, as he lay in the hospital bed. I recall, with amazement,
the stories of Eric's generosity, care, and concern; of his tremendous impact on our community and the lives of so many other
people. I recall the many, many firefighters, medics, and friends who came to visit Eric and lend support
to us in our vigil. I recall the compassion and strength of Stan Irwin, Eric's fire chief from Leon Valley, who shared
our vigil and was with me when death came for Eric. I recall the compassion of Diana's brothers and sister and our nieces
and nephews, who shared our burden.
I recall the love I felt when my children and sisters came from Georgia to strengthen and comfort
me. I recall the love I felt for my daughter-in-law whose strength so often sustained Brian when I was unable.
I recall the love I felt for my wife who, despite her own overwhelming grief, held me as I cried and raged over my loss.
I recall the many cards and letters from childhood friends, old acquaintances, and complete strangers
who offered sympathy and messages of hope. I recall the awesome turn out of fire trucks, ambulances and official vehicles
in the funeral procession who honored Eric's life and dedication to serve others.
Life has changed for us. Life will never be the same for us. Life will always have a
tinge of sadness for us. And yet, life goes on. We adapt to our new reality without Eric. We find ourselves
laughing, and playing, and enjoying life again. The sun shines in our lives again, every day is a new beginning,
and the future is something to embrace again rather than fear.
I know not what the future holds for us. Had I known at Eric's birth that we would have
him for only twenty-seven years, I would not have changed it. He was, and is, a joy in our lives. I
will always miss his gentle smile and infectious laugh. I will always miss the "man-to-man" talks. There
is joy knowing that I had the opportunity to see him grow into a wonderful young man.
Today is the anniversary of Eric's death. Tomorrow is the anniversary of his birth. And
I will be forever grateful that Eric is a part of our lives.
Sincerely,
