|
Sent: Sunday, March 05, 2006 3:33 AM
Subject: Eric Update Saturday
Dear Friends and Family,
Last night about 9:00p.m. our son Eric was severely injured in a motorcycle
accident while on his way home from work. He is in the Intensive Care Unit at Brook Army Medical Center in San Antonio.
He is in very critical condition with severe head and facial injuries.
He is in a coma and the neurosurgeon does not yet know the extent of
any permanent brain damage. At this time, we do know he suffered bruising and some bleeding in his brain. They
performed a tracheotomy and have him on a ventilator.
According to the neurosurgeon, he has no signs of brain swelling at this
time but the next five days are critical and things are touch and go for his survival. We are all praying very hard
for his survival.
We ask all of you so inclined to please keep Eric in your prayers.
Fortunately, he was using all the correct gear including a wrap-around
helmet. His other injuries are relatively minor and include a broken arm and a scrape on his knee and elbow. The
ER trauma doctor said the helmet saved him long enough to get him to the ER.
I will try to provide updates on his progress as I can.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Sunday, March 05, 2006 11:37 PM
Subject: Eric Update - Sunday
We just got in from the hospital. The day began on a positive note,
then turned horrible, but ended on a measure of hope.
The doctors raised Eric's condition to critical but stable around 4a.m.
We were so relieved, but by nine a.m. he was deteriorating rapidly. His condition changed to very critical and
we were advised that it would be a good time to call in out of town family.
The doctors and nurses worked frantically to try to stabilize him so
they could move him for another CT scan of his brain. Fortunately, his brother and sister-in-law, Diana and I and several
of his friends were able to spend some time with him during this frightening episode.
By around 4p.m., they had him stable enough to move to the CT scanner.
At 5:30p.m. his neurosurgeon called us into a conference about his condition. Eric was in very bad shape due to rapid
swelling of his brain. The neurosurgeon explained that the swelling was destabilizing him and causing the deterioration
of his condition.
He recommended a very aggressive approach to treating the swelling.
We approved his treatment plan which begins with the removal of the right side of Eric's skull to allow the brain to expand
outside. We were told this procedure had a 50/50 chance of success. They began prepping him immediately and took
him to surgery just before 7:00 p.m.
They brought him back shortly after 9:00 p.m. The doctor said it
was a success. The brain had swelled into the new opening and relieved the pressure. By 10:30 his ICU nurse
said he was critical but stable again and his blood chemistry and vital signs were much improved.
His doctor said we were just at the beginning of a long road for the
next several days. He said Eric's condition will probably go up and down like a yo-yo. Their entire concern at
this point is to keep him alive until the swelling becomes manageable. He said from this point forward, the treatments
will become riskier but necessary. His prognosis remains poor, but we (and many, many other people) are praying for
a miracle.
I must say I am so impressed with BAMC. This is the hospital that
treats all the serious burn and head trauma patients coming from Iraq. Eric is reaping the benefits of what the doctors
have learned about treating serious head injuries.
The hospital has assigned one nurse each shift whose only patient is
Eric. The nurse stays in Eric's room constantly monitoring and adjusting all the medicine and fluids. Eric has
twelve IVs and ten monitoring leads attached to him. In addition to the usual CRT readouts, everything flows through
a state-of-the art computer software package.
The nurse explained that the software allows them to monitor his condition
and any changes minute-by-minute. This allows them to quickly adjust the combination of drugs and fluids to provide
the maximum "best treatment" for Eric's particular condition at every moment. This is providing Eric the best possible
chance of surviving this accident.
We got past today's crisis but the doctor has prepared us to expect several
more in the next few days.
We also know more about how the accident occurred but the why remains
unclear. I'm really too tired right now to go into it. Maybe in the next update. We will try to catch a
few hours sleep tonight before going back to the hospital in the morning. We have friends and family staying to keep
watch tonight and I so thank them for their sacrifice.
Thanks to all of you who sent prayers and good wishes. We appreciate
it so much.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Monday, March 06, 2006 7:49 AM
Subject: Eric's Accident
Dear Friends and Family,
I thought I would take a few moments before we head back to the hospital
to share with you what we know about Eric's motorcycle accident. I do this in the hope that those of you who ride them,
have children who ride, or even know someone who rides will emphasize the importance of wearing a full helmet.
This is what we know from the police investigation and eyewitness accounts.
Eric was coming home from work around 8:30 p.m. He was in the right-hand
lane approaching the exit to IH 35. In the lane to his left and somewhat ahead of Eric was a Ford Explorer.
In the next lane to the left and somewhat in front of the Explorer was a white VW.
The driver of the VW apparently realized he was going to miss his exit
and darted across the three lanes to his right to reach the exit for IH 35. The driver of the Explorer slammed his breaks
on to avoid hitting the white VW.
A few months before this happened, Eric had to use the shoulder to avoid
another vehicle that pulled the same stupid stunt at a different exit. We surmise that Eric began slowing down and moved
to the right shoulder to avoid the possibility that the Explorer would also swerve to the right to avoid the VW.
Continuing from the police investigation, just past the point where Eric
moved over, the shoulder of the road narrows from seventeen feet to four feet and is lined with concrete barriers. The
brake pedal on the right side of the motorcycle dragged against the barrier and threw the cycle into the wall.
Eric was traveling between 50 and 60 mph. He hit a metal I-beam
that supports the IH 35 exit sign headfirst.
The VW, of course, did not stop. The Explorer did, fortunately,
because the driver was a doctor in training as an ER doctor. He immediately began treating Eric and made sure no one
tried to move him until the ambulance arrived.
Had Eric not worn his full helmet, he would have died instantly.
Please share this story with anyone who rides without a helmet. I know the many studies out there that prove that wearing
a helmet has no effect on the overall motorcycle accident death rate at speeds above 13 mph. But wearing one does significantly
reduce death and disability due to head injuries.
Many of you have asked how we are doing now.
What we are going through right now is every parent's worst nightmare.
From the moment we answered the door Saturday night and the police officer told us we needed to get to the hospital right
away, the emotional stress is nearly unbearable. The outpouring of love and support from the firefighter and police
communities has helped tremendously.
Diana and I had no idea of the number of lives Eric touched. I
think nearly 100 firefighters and police officers from all the communities around us have come to the hospital to hold our
hands, pray, and cry with us.
The Fire Chief from Leon Valley, the city where Eric works as a firefighter/Paramedic,
spent most of Saturday night and much of Sunday afternoon and evening with us. The crew of four Leon Valley firefighters
that he works with came Sunday evening and stayed several hours. They shared stories of their antics at the station
that opened a whole new vista of Eric to us. Their stories got us to laughing, which is something I did not think I
would do for a long time to come.
The fire chief from Windcrest, the city where Eric works as a volunteer
firefighter/Paramedic came by Saturday and Sunday also as did around 15 of the other volunteers. We really appreciate
the love and support they showed us by taking time out from their busy lives.
Diana and I are coping with this very difficult time one day, sometimes
one hour, at a time. With the help and emotional support of our friends and neighbors, we will deal with whatever else
comes the same way. Right now, we only pray that Eric survives the next few days.
We thank you for the many expressions of care and concern.
By the way, if anyone would prefer not to receive these updates, please
let me know by e-mail and I will remove your name. (I'm writing this mainly as a way for me to deal with this tragedy
and I fully understand if others would prefer not to share it!)
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 1:57 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Monday
Dear Friends and Family,
Today was a very good day. Eric' condition is still very critical
but stable. What brought near joy to us was the doctor's pronouncement that the prognosis of survival has increased
from poor to guarded. We still have a long road ahead for the next two or three days, but things definitely look better.
The doctor said Eric's survival yesterday was like balancing an egg on
a razor blade. We thank God that these doctors and nurses refuse to give up and fight tenaciously for our son's life.
I think they are miracle workers. They, while proud of their work, say it is what they are SUPPOSED to do. If
God maintains thank you buckets, I certainly hope we filled those today for the doctors and nurses!
As I mentioned yesterday, the doctors threw just about everything they
had into the mix of drugs, chemicals and fluids to get him stable enough for surgery. They succeeded and the surgery
went well.
Eric remained stable through the night and by morning they began
reducing all the things they had done to stabilize him. It was a gradual process throughout the day. Reduce a
drug and monitor the change. Reduce a chemical and monitor the change, reduce a fluid and monitor the change.
Replace a strong drug for a weaker one and monitor the change.
Their goal was to reduce the drastic measures to much lower levels while
keeping his condition as stable as possible. The purpose, as a doctor told me, was to prepare for the challenges ahead
by increasing the treatment options. They did an excellent job today.
As of 11:45 p.m. they had substantially reduced the amount of chemicals,
drugs and fluids. Eric's blood pressure was down by 25 points, which was great news for the swelling in his brain.
Although the brain continues to swell from the bruising, the rate seems to have slowed significantly.
One of the problems they had to deal with yesterday was his blood became
too acidic. They call this acidosis and it interferes with the efforts to remove fluids from his blood. (They
wanted to reduce the volume to reduce the pressure in the brain.) Unfortunately, if you have acidosis and reduce blood
volume, you increase the acid content of the remaining blood which interferes greatly with the effort to keep him stable.
They juggled and jinked everything until they got the acidosis down and
then began reducing his fluid volume. By the time we left this evening, the swelling in his tissues was markedly reduced.
His arms and legs looked like they were back to almost normal size.
One new thing they began working on was to try to "wake up" his
stomach so they could begin feeding him. He is in a chemically-induced coma and they have him totally paralyzed.
They gradually reduced the paralytic drugs today and started him on a small amount of liquid food. If his stomach wakes
up (and this is looking good right now) it will help increase the arsenal of future treatments.
Right now, his body is running on stored energy. By getting him
on a liquid diet, his body will have to do less work to stay alive and he can direct more energy to healing.
All-in-all, it was a very good medical day.
On a cautionary note, the doctors still anticipate significant stability
problems in the next two days. His life still hangs in the balance, but at least they will have more options to deal
with future problems. That alone is a blessing worth all the prayers for him!
My daughter and her husband arrived from Georgia around midnight.
They stayed at the hospital with Eric's brother Brian until the wee hours of the morning. Denelle and Robert, I love
you so much for coming in Eric's (and our) hour of need.
This afternoon, Diana's two brothers and her sister came to visit Eric
and lend their emotional support to us. Her sister also brought her daughter Hailey, Eric's cousin. Bobby and Ramona,
Ken and Sandy, Janet and Hailey, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
My two sons and three sisters in Georgia have agreed to wait until later
when we may need additional support. Words cannot express our love for you or how much the support of our family means
to us. Sometimes, it is the only anchor that helps keep us in place.
Despite the good news, the emotional roller coaster continues.
It seems like I go from the depths of despair to the heights of almost normal and back again in minutes. Sometimes the
littlest things seem to trigger emotional breakdown.
When I opened the refrigerator door here at home earlier today to get
a glass of milk, I noticed a shrimp cocktail that Eric had bought earlier on Friday. He mentioned as he left for work
on Saturday that he was looking forward to eating it that night when he got home. The sight of the shrimp left me sitting
on the kitchen floor in tears. The chaplain at the hospital tells me this is normal and it will pass in time.
I certainly hope so.
Brian's wife Renate has been a particular godsend to us. Her support
of Brian comes at a time when we often do not have enough strength for anything more than our great concern for Eric.
Her willingness to dive in to organize things and take on any task is just a great help to all of us. She and Brian
celebrated their one year wedding anniversary in February. We already love her as if she had been part of our family
since forever.
Thank you all for your continued expressions of support and compassion
in our hour of sorrow. I know some of you have faced what we face and sometimes worse. My heart goes out to you
in empathy. To those who have not faced it, I pray it never, ever happens to you. Many learned authors have said
this kind of experience makes you stronger. It is a strength I would gladly forfeit.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 8:44 PM
Subject: Eric update -Tuesday
Dear Friends and Family,
Today was not a good day. As the doctors and we feared, Eric's
condition deteriorated rapidly this morning. They advised us that, barring a miracle, he will not survive.
They are attempting to stabilize him enough to begin brain function tests.
They estimate it will be two days before we know for sure.
This news devastated all of us. Hopefully I will feel well enough
to provide a more complete update tomorrow.
We continue to pray for a miracle and the strength to accept whatever
happens. I thank everyone for the many, many prayers and best wishes offered.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Wednesday, March 08, 2006 5:00 AM
Subject: Eric update - Tuesday Additional
Dear Friends and Family,
My emotions run the gamut from absolute despair to a raging anger ...
at God, at the world, at the jerk in the white VW who possibly triggered this whole mess, at the guy next to me in the elevator
laughing with his friend, and even at Eric for ignoring my advice not to buy that stupid motorcycle.
I want to gather Eric in my arms and cuddle and comfort him as I did
when he was a little child and scraped his knee. Yet, at the same time, I want to run away from this whole horror and
I can't. I want to lie down and sleep forever but can't seem to get more than a couple of hours without nightmares awakening
me. I want to take away the pain Diana suffers but know there is nothing I can do beyond a hug and a kiss.
I feel guilty for ignoring Brian and Renate, my daughter, Denelle, and
Robert, for not having the words right now to comfort them. I feel guilty for often focusing more on my pain and less
on others. I feel irritated by my indecision ... or inability ... to make decisions right now. That, perhaps more
than anything else, worries me because I have never had a problem making decisions in the face of uncertainty. I fear
not having the strength to carry the burdens I know are yet to come.
I want someone to come and take away this terrible, terrible pain I feel
but know that no one, not even God, can do that right now.
I've been sitting here for an hour now wondering whether or not to leave
the above writing in this update. Is it too personal? Too much about me? Do I really want to burden
others with my suffering this way? Ultimately, I decided to leave it. I'm writing this partly as a way for
me to cope. And it might help others, who go through this, to prepare themselves in some small way.
The doctor told us, yesterday morning, that Eric was again unstable.
His sodium levels were very high. One of the basic brain functions is control of sodium levels and it appeared that
Eric's brain was not doing this. In fact, most of the control of Eric's vitals is now external and that is not
a good sign for survival.
When I asked about brain death, the doctor said it was too early to run
those tests. They need to get his sodium levels back to normal and stabilize his vital signs. It would take a
couple of days to do this, but they planned to run the brain function tests as soon after that as they could. He also
said it is very likely that Eric will die.
I think we all felt like we received a punch in the stomach. It
was not totally unexpected but, still, after the previous good day and despite the doctors' warnings of more crises, this
news was devastating.
I can't tell you what a blessing it is to have Renate, my daughter-in-law, here
with us. She lends far more than her share of strength to help us keep up our hope and belief in a favorable outcome.
Her constant faith in a favorable outcome for Eric provides a rock of support. We cannot thank her enough
for being Brian's rock when we cannot.
My daughter, Denelle, has risen to this occasion far beyond what I thought
she could do. Her calmness in the face of her own overwhelming grief is both a surprise and a lesson to me. The
gentle hugs and a stroke on the back mean so very much right now.
Eric had many visitors from the firefighter community yesterday.
These guys shared with us many wonderful stories about Eric. I particularly want to mention Chief Stan Irwin of
the Leon Valley Fire Department. He took on the burden of coordinating Eric's health insurance with the hospital.
Chief, you have no idea how much we appreciate your help and support.
Assistant Chief Lee from Leon Valley stopped by and shared some stories
about Eric and his job interview. Thanks, Chief, for the smiles you brought and the warm feeling you left with me.
It was desperately needed at the time.
Eric really loves the department and the guys he works with. He
often says he has not had to work a day since he got the job there. He said no matter how nasty the job, you can't call
it work when you are having so much fun!
Last week I was a little concerned that Eric seemed to have no obvious
goals in life. At the breakfast table one morning, I asked him about it. "Dad," he said, "I don't have any goals
right now. I achieved everything I ever really wanted; a job as a paid firefighter. I'm just going to enjoy that
for now." I think back with some sadness at the many goals I set and achieved but didn't stop to enjoy because I was
working on my next goals. A lesson in life, maybe?
Some of the guys he works with came to be with him last night.
Thank you so much for relieving us so we could come home to get some rest.
Several of our Windcrest city officials stopped by yesterday to visit
Eric and share stories with us about Eric. Lori and Joe from the police department and Ronnie the city administrator,
thanks for taking the time to talk and sympathize with us last night. Eric loves the city and thinks all you guys are
special. I think if he had not loved firefighting so much, he might have become a policeman.
I just realized that my Day Four update was actually Day Three.
It is too easy to lose track of time. Each day seems endless at times.
We continue to pray for the doctors, nurses, and that God will work a
miracle for Eric. We can not thank you enough for the e-mails of support, sympathy and prayers for Eric and for
us.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2006 9:26 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Wednesday
Dear Friends and Family,
On Tuesday, we (and you) prayed for a miracle after the doctor's told
us Eric was dying. Tuesday night, after working frantically all day, the medical people began getting his vital
signs under control. Eric was stable all day. The sodium levels which had so concerned his doctors were reduced
enough to take Eric down for a CAT scan.
The results of the scan were not promising. The bruising to his
right brain was more extensive and severe than we all originally thought. Unfortunately, the scan also showed some losses
in the left side of brain that we had not suspected. Apparently, Eric was without an airway long enough to cause some
brain damage in addition to that caused by the accident.
Obviously, the doctors tried to prepare us for a worst case
scenario. They warned us that Eric may require months, if not years, of intensive care to survive. Emotionally,
I doubt anyone could ever prepare for something like this.
His neurosurgeon, as well as the doctor in charge of Eric's overall treatment,
also warned us that we are facing a possibility of other organ failure as well as secondary infections like pneumonia
that could be impossible to overcome.
Our plan, for now, is to hope that all the bad things predicted will
hold off for a week to ten days to allow the brain swelling to decrease. Once that happens, we will know better whether
his brain will ever regain control of his body processes.
Overall, Wednesday was another good day/bad day combination. We
thank everyone for their prayers. We thank God for the miracles he performed so far through these amazing doctors
and nurses. We continue to pray for a miracle for Eric's healing.
It is just so very hard to pray "Thy will be done," when I really want
to pray, "Thy will be done my way, please." The minister who is the chaplain for the Windcrest Fire Department counseled
us yesterday. He said something that I found comforting. If Eric dies, he will reach the other side healed and
whole.
The people in the firefighting/EMS community have been a rock of support
for me. Every day, some of them come to visit Eric, grieve with us, and comfort us.
I am so grateful that BAMC has a liberal visitor policy. They allow
us to see Eric anytime we want no matter what how busy they are doing their "magic" to keep him with us. We
limit visitors to no more than two or three at one time and everyone has had an opportunity to visit who wanted to see him.
BAMC, in addition to being a premier trauma center, is a training hospital.
Yesterday, besides the regular nurse assigned to him, Eric had the help of an anesthesiologist and a battlefield medic trainee
and his instructor.
Eric would enjoy knowing that he was still able to contribute to helping
others gain their skills in emergency medicine. When Eric did his rotations during Paramedic training, he always appreciated
the opportunity to learn from actual patients.
I mentioned before that Eric's friends tell us stories that often make
us laugh and give us an insight to Eric that we, as parents, typically don't often see. I thought I would share some
of these stories with all of you.
Chief Winn of the Windcrest Volunteer Fire Department told us of
his memorable first meeting with Eric. Eric was a 12-year old middle school student. He walked to and from school
and nearly everyday on his way home he would stop at the Windcrest fire station to talk with anyone who was there.
One day, he asked Chief Winn if the department had a junior firefighter
division. The chief said no but he would start one if Eric put together a group.
The next day Eric showed up after school with a friend and said to the
chief, "So, do we get badges?"
Eric always loved a good prank. It didn't matter if he was on the
giving or the receiving end, either. I remember several years ago that he offered to help his Uncle Ken put up a fence
around his 20 acre property. He agreed to work as long as there was enough water. (It gets hot in Texas!)
As luck would have it the water ran out. When Eric told him about
it, Ken said he would run back to town to get some more. He left Eric to continue driving fence posts into the
ground. (Eric was too young to drive then.) When he returned with the water, he found Eric sitting exactly where
he had stopped working. There were no more fence posts driven.
When Ken asked Eric why he hadn't continued putting up the posts, Eric
replied, "No water. No work."
Today, before we go to the hospital, I think we will start trying
to set a schedule for all of us. No matter how we wish, responsibilities outside the hospital do not go away.
Life does go on.
Thanks for all the prayers. We appreciate all of you.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
Sent: Friday, March 10, 2006 5:29 AM
Subject: Eric Accident - Thursday update
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric had a quiet day Thursday. He was mostly
stable but had a little hitch Thursday evening just before we left to come home. It was interesting because five family
members were in the room when it started and we stayed throughout the process of stabilizing him. Though he was never
in any real trouble, it was sometimes a little scary with the doctor, anesthesia specialist, and his nurse all working together.
There was no panic or frantic activity. Just
a dedicated group who knew exactly what they needed to do and did it in a practiced and precise manner. This was unlike
Tuesday when they had eight doctors and three nurses working frantically for more than five straight hours to keep Eric going.
Had last night's action become more intense,
they would have asked us to move out of the way.
There was one amusing (and impressive, to me) incident
Thursday. Brigadier General Gilman is the Commanding General at Brooke Army Medical Center. He and the chaplain
of the Windcrest Fire Department are friends. The chaplain stopped by the General's office Wednesday and mentioned that
Eric (who is a volunteer and a Lieutenant with the WVFD) was in the ICU.
Thursday at lunchtime, the General walked into the
ICU to visit Eric and his family. Eric's nurse (who is an Army Captain) had just sat down in the ICU breakroom to eat
his lunch. Suddenly, the hospital commander walked in and said he wanted to speak with him. The nurse told us
later that he was stuck with a fork full of food halfway to his mouth and didn't know whether to drop the fork and jump to
attention or what!
My daughter and her husband were in the room with Eric
when he and the General walked in. General Gilman is board certified in both cardiology and internal medicine.
Denelle said the nurse seemed to answer all the General's questions but she thought it was strange that he was standing
at attention while doing so. She said General Gilman held Eric's hand for a few minutes and said they were all praying
for him.
Then he turned to Denelle and asked her if the staff
were keeping her informed and answering questions. She assured him that the service provided to the family was outstanding.
He told her that if we have any questions or problems to please call him direct.
After the shift change that night, the nurse stayed
a few minutes to talk with us. He said it was the first time in his four years at BAMC that he had seen a General visit
a civilian patient. In fact, he said it was the first time for most in the ICU to even see the hospital commander.
Of course, he's only been commander for a short time.
I mentioned that everyone in the ICU seemed to offer
an extra measure of personal concern for Eric right from the beginning. (Not that anyone else received any lesser quality
of care, just that they all seem to personally have a greater interest in Eric.) The nurse said it is because Eric is
a firefighter/Paramedic and they all view him as one of their own. It brought tears to my eyes.
On a more personal note, Diana and I talked Wednesday
night and again Thursday morning about our tragedy. We decided that we can not continue to let this crisis manage us.
Rather, we must start managing it for the sake of our health and sanity.
We know that Eric is in the best possible hands right
now. It is heart-breaking, knowing there is absolutely nothing we can do for him to make him well. We must rely
on the doctors and nurses caring for him.
To continue pouring all of our time and emotional energy
into a vigil at his bedside does nothing to help him. Ultimately, it will create more problems because the
world has not and will not stop for us. We have bills and responsibilities that will not go away. We also need
to begin the process of taking over Eric's financial responsibilities.
The shock of Eric's accident nearly broke us.
We both would sacrifice everything, including our lives, to bring Eric back the way he was before. As a good friend
often says, "Life ain't fair and, sometimes, your mama don't love you." Life certainly has been most unfair right now
but we will, as the saying implies, deal with it no matter how unfair.
We know going forward there will be more setbacks and
more shocks. For now, we plan to do our best to deal with everything and maintain our control of every aspect of our
lives except Eric. We plan to start using the many resources offered to us to help free up some of our time to get away
from the hospital and deal with all the other aspects of living.
We now know almost everyone caring for Eric.
We trust them to watch over him just as we would if we knew how. Diana and I live just five miles from the hospital.
Brian and Renate live a little closer. The hospital has all our phone numbers. At anytime the hospital needs
our presence, one of us will be there in less than eight minutes. Thank God I don't have to work so I can stay close
during business hours.
We are working on a schedule that will keep at least
one family member at the hospital from around 7:00 a.m. until 11:00 p.m. We will probably call on Eric's friends to
fill gaps for us if (or when) we all have to be away at some time. We want to make sure someone is there to greet
Eric's visitors and to be the first response if Eric gets into trouble.
At night, the ICU personnel try to maintain a
normal sleep cycle and frown on unnecessary stimulation. We know that some of his friends come at odd hours of the late
night or early morning because they can not get away at other times. We would like them to know that even if one
of us is not there, we greatly appreciate them caring enough to come. We don't know if Eric has any awareness of what
goes on around him (we suspect not) but just in case he does, we remain sure that short visits can only help.
Today I spent most of the day taking care of car repairs
that were planned for earlier in the week and beginning the process of trying to piece together Eric's financial position.
I managed to get in touch with the banks he uses and the credit companies. Many of his bills were due but everyone agreed
to a 30 to 60 day delay while we take care of the power of attorney we will need.
Friday or Monday we will need to find an attorney who
can help us with a durable power of attorney so that we can take full control and make all decisions for Eric. We still
have to arrange to remove the motorcycle from the Live Oak PD impound yard. Personally, I dread that. I'm inclined
to tell the finance company to just come and repo the damn thing. I never want to see it again.
We also need to find all of his insurance policies,
... just a myriad of irritating little details you never think about. I wish Eric had maintained a list of all his accounts
and account numbers, as well as his insurance policies, and so forth. I know I plan to create such a list for us, just
in case some one has to do for us what I need to do for Eric.
We are, in many ways I think, becoming emotionally
numb. We still suffer brief bouts of grieving that seem to paralyze us at odd times throughout the day. Nights
are still the worst for me, obviously, because I sit here typing this instead of sleeping.
We continue praying and we thank all of you who not
only pray but get your friends and relatives to pray as well. Your many e-mails help support us and we are grateful
for the support you all give. Many of you say you just don't know what to say to help. I assure just a note that
you are thinking of us really helps.
We especially thank the speech therapists at San Antonio
ISD who put together a "care package" of snacks, fruit, and drinks for us. Your expression of love and concern for Diana
really help right now.
I'll end this on a good note. On Saturday morning
just before Eric left for work, he poked his head in my office here and said he was taking off for work. As I often
do, I got up, walked over to him, gave a hug and told him I loved him. He hugged me back and told me he loved me,
too. I'm so glad those are the last words I remember from him.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
*** Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2006 7:04 AM
Subject: Eric Accident - Friday update Dear Friends and Family,
Many people asked for our complete address so I included it at the end
of this update.
Eric remains in extremely critical condition. His prognosis is
still poor. Every day that his vital signs and blood chemistry remain stable is a big plus for him.
He has five nurses (that I know of for sure) assigned to him. Each
nurse works an eight hour shift. For now, these nurses work only with Eric. This is very good and comforting news
for us. Over time, they become very familiar with the unique ways Eric responds to their efforts to keep him alive.
If Eric becomes unstable, their intimate knowledge allows them to respond more quickly to bring his body back under control.
My plan to try to manage our lives around this horrible accident went
pretty much out the window yesterday. They took Eric downstairs for another CT scan of his brain in the morning.
When that happens we have to wait for a few hours to get the results. Everyone in the family went to the hospital to
await the results with us.
The waiting time and uncertainty place extreme stress on us.
The mood swings are just so hard and so extreme. One moment I feel quite confident that everything will work
out fine. In a blink of an eye, it seems, I sink into the depths of despair so bleak that I can not even stand to be
around people. Diana handles it by walking the hallways alone. I tend to go outside and smoke a cigarette.
I smoke far too much.
I know lack of sleep, for me, aggravates the problem. I dread going
to sleep and I dread waking up. If this pattern continues through Monday, I plan to go to our doctor for some chemical
help.
A resident who works with Dr. Perez, Eric's neurosurgeon, spoke with
us around 4:00 p.m. He showed us the CT scan from the morning side-by-side with the last scan. The edema
appears to be spreading from the bruised areas, but they are not sure if it indicates more damage. They see no increase
in the brain pressure but the swelling has not gone down yet. He continues to remain stable, so that is a good sign.
The doctor explained the spreading edema as similar to how a severe
bruise will heal on your arm. The initial injury will raise a large bump. As the bruise heals, the swelling tends
to spread over a wider area as the lump becomes smaller.
He also told us that moving Eric from the ICU to their CT scanner room
is a potentially life-threatening process. As long as Eric remains stable, they plan to reduce the scans
from every other day to every five days. Of course, if he has a major unstable incident, they will get another scan
as soon as possible after he stabilizes to assess the condition of his brain.
The result of yesterday's scan is no change. He has a very bad
brain injury, it is still too early to tell how much brain function Eric lost, the prognosis for survival is poor. The
next ten days to two weeks will allow his brain to heal enough to begin determining the extent of damage.
Fortunately, Diana and I do not have to make a decision about keeping
him alive on mechanical long-term life support. Eric made that decision long ago, as did we all in this family.
Using machines to keep us alive is an option we reject. Diana and I remain, however, fiercely determined to keep
him alive long enough for his brain to heal.
Diana's relatives and my daughter and son-in-law fixed us a meal last
night. It is the first time in a week that I have really enjoyed the taste of food. I really still
have no appetite and could easily skip eating altogether. The guys from Leon Valley FD plan to cook dinner for
us tonight. They are a wonderful group of men whose support in this trying time means so very much to us.
Many of you have sent messages of condolence and support. We can
not even begin to tell you how much it means. I'm sorry for not answering each of you individually. I hope this
"thank you" will work for now. Eventually, I do plan to respond, I just don't know when.
One person advised us to apply as soon as possible for Social Security
disability for Eric because there is a six month delay in getting approval. We had not even thought about that.
It makes me wonder what else we may overlook. I think I will soon have to sit down and make a list of where we are and
where we need to be.
I dreaded today (Saturday) because it was just a week ago tonight that
we learned of Eric's accident. It has been and remain the most horrible week of our lives.
We continue to pray and we continue to thank all of you who help us pray
for Eric's recovery. We thank you for asking so many others including those in other countries to join is in prayer.
Most of you don't know Eric. I attached a picture of him taken
in January 2006.
I'll end on a funny note. Rudy Davila of the Windcrest Police Department
is a good friend of Eric's. Eric, of course, loves to play pranks on his friends. Rudy shared a story about a
recent prank Eric pulled when Rudy was walking into the station. He saw Eric holding what looked like an automatic weapon,
wearing camouflage clothing, face mask, and a big grin on this face. He says it scared a few gray hairs back into his
head. Eric laughed and grinned at Rudy's startled look. He said Eric proudly displayed his new toy; you got it,
a multi-shot BB gun.
Rudy said he pranked him right back by giving the third degree on Windcrest's
ordinance that prohibited use of this type of weapon and the citation that he was about to give him. He says the
look on Eric's face was precious! Tit for tat!
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Sunday, March 12, 2006 9:15 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Saturday
Dear Friends and Family,
Today was another good day for Eric. He was mostly stable with
only a few unstable moments quickly resolved. He has a slight fever, not unexpected, but they have him on Tylenol
and antibiotics to control it.
I feel a little cowardly tonight. It was just a week ago that the
Windcrest police officer knocked on our door to tell us to rush to BAMC for Eric. The memories of that night are so
strong that I just can't face going back to the hospital tonight.
When we visited Eric this morning I felt nauseous walking done those
long hallways back to the ICU. I kept having flashbacks to that first walk last week. The fear hit me just as
hard this morning as that first time.
Diana and I spent an hour with him, telling him how much we loved him.
It is just so hard to see him lying there without moving or responding. I feel that I have to keep my feelings and sorrow
bottled up until I can get somewhere alone. I suppose it is that macho, gotta' be strong for everyone thing. It
was a relief to leave the hospital this afternoon and come home.
Diana and her sister left to go on a shopping trip. I suppose one
could call it "retail therapy" because it helps her get some short-term relief from the grieving. My daughter Denelle,
Robert and I rode back with a friend who visited Eric. Dee offered to pick up Eric's motorcycle from the Live Oak impound
yard. He will also store it in his barn until we decide what to do with it.
Right now, I plan to let the finance company repossess it. I will
never have another payment made on the thing. If it was not financed, I would destroy it. It sickened me that
some vulture approached us a few days ago about buying it, "at a good price," of course. The vulture talked with my
son about it. Had he talked with me I would have been rather less than pleasant towards him.
In any event, I will not sell the motorcycle. I don't think I would
want that on my conscience. If the finance company does not want it, I'll just burn it and bury it.
It seems like everything irritates me lately. We went to breakfast in
the morning before going to see Eric. Seated at the table next to us was a family with a young child, maybe four
or five, who was whiney and crying. It was all I could do to stop myself from screaming at them to shut the kid up.
On the elevator up to the ICU floor a stranger laughed at something his friend said. I was almost overwhelmingly
tempted to ask him how dare he laugh on such a tragic day.
Contrasting the emotional extremes is an almost emotionless feeling that
strikes suddenly at different times during the day. During these spells, I feel almost like a cold, calculating machine.
I look down on my emotional self as foolishly wasting time and energy. I'm sure I don't like that part of myself at
all, yet I have as little control over it as any other emotional state.
There were a couple of really bright spots in the day today. Our
niece Teresa came to visit Eric. It constantly surprises me how such a beautiful young woman can offer so
much comfort and compassion with a hug and an, "I love you, Uncle Dave."
The other bright spot was the guys from Leon Valley FD who cooked a huge
barbecue dinner for our friends and family. We had fifteen people plus three firefighters and one late arrival.
They even brought tables and chairs. We had food enough for an army. And it was good. And now I also know
why Eric had so much trouble with the Weight Watchers' diet he tried!
It amazes me that these guys have such an ability to comfort us when
I know they grieve just as we do. I wish I had their strength.
They told the story of the day they went to teach some kids about what
to do if they ever catch on fire. I'm sure you've heard of "stop, drop, and roll". When they asked for a volunteer
to illustrate the procedure, Eric surprised them all by just flopping down on the mat and rolling. The kids, of course,
laughed but got the message. The guys said they now call that maneuver, "the Dopp flop". We all had a good laugh
about it.
Of course, that is why Eric is so good relating to children. It
never embarrassed him to do foolish or childish things when he worked with kids. He willingly did anything necessary
to get a message across to them that might save their lives someday. He always had the knack of relating to them
on their level. I suppose it is the big kid in him.
One thing that really bothers me is my inability to reach out to comfort
my other children, although that seems to be changing a little. Last night Brian and I talked for I suppose
fifteen minutes about how he feels. This has been the longest one-on-one conversation about Brian since the
accident.
I still have not talked with my daughter because she more readily expresses
her emotions. I fear that if she breaks down, I will go to pieces. I am so blessed that she understands that and
tries so hard to be strong for me. I know her husband helps her and that is a blessing to us all.
I sit here this Sunday morning finishing up this e-mail, feeling
numb inside and grateful for it. At the same time, I feel so fragile, as if the slightest touch will break me into a
thousand pieces. God, I just wish this turmoil would end. I resent everything going on and just want my normal
life back. Selfish, I suppose, but nevertheless there it is.
Diana and I talked very little yesterday. We both committed
to keeping our relationship strong. One danger people face in this type of situation is destruction of their marriage
and family. There are times when we both need to separate to grieve and we each wanted to make sure the other did not
feel rejected. Fortunately, Diana and I are best friends and have been for more than thirty-five years. Despite
my numbness, deep down I still know she is my greatest strength and support.
I slept well again last night for the second time in the past week.
Perhaps I'm finally getting over the shock. I hope so because exhaustion on top of everything else certainly does not
help.
Diana's brother and sister and families plan to leave today.
Diana will go to the hospital with them for an hour or so then come back home. I'll go down after they leave.
I'm glad they came and I know Eric will appreciate it if he recovers.
Today (Sunday) begins week two of this horrid journey. Your expressions
of support and prayer for us and our son have helped more than we could ever repay. I pray that this coming week will
find me less fragmented and battered than I feel today.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Monday, March 13, 2006 9:00 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Sunday
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric remains in very critical but stable condition. Every stable
day is a blessing because it helps the healing process.
Eric's broken right arm is worse than we thought. The orthopedic
surgeon says the cast tends to shut off the blood flow to his hand. If the neurosurgeon and the other doctors agree
that Eric is strong enough, he plans to operate to fix the broken bones (the bone in his upper arm and both bones in his lower
arm.) He wants to use pins and screws so they can get rid of the cast.
If he can't stand a long surgery, they will use an external support frame
and pin the bones together that way. The doctor says the external procedure will only take about thirty minutes.Either
way, we need to loose the cast. Tentatively, the operation will be on Tuesday.
Diana's family left Sunday morning. We are so very glad they came
to be with Eric and us. Janet, Diana's sister, helped tremendously by getting Diana out to go shopping. It helped
her so much and I so appreciate that.
I mentioned the other day the family fixed dinner for us Friday night.
Although everyone played a part, I said that my daughter and son-in-law cooked. Actually it was my son and daughter-in
law. That was a typo on my part. Brian grilled steaks and salmon. They were very good.
My daughter and son-in-law spent two days cleaning our house and doing
laundry. Words can not begin to express how much that means to Diana and me. Diana has a "thing" about not having
guests over if the house is not spotless. I think we could have the President over today and she would not be unhappy!
Sunday is the first day in a week that I have felt like my emotions were
under some reasonable control. I've been trying to prepare myself to go through the difficult task of sorting out Eric's
life and taking those steps necessary to keep it in some semblance of order.
I still have tremendous problems with short term memory. I'll think
of something I need to do or say but five minutes later can not remember what it was. I need to carry a small notebook
to jot done those thoughts and ideas to jog my memory. I think that would be one of the things at the top of the list
of things a parent should do if they face what we face.
I live or die by my cell phone. It is the "lifeline" to the hospital
in case anything goes wrong with Eric while we are away. I find that I constantly pat myself to make sure it is on me.
I carry an extra fully charged battery in case the one in the phone runs down when I'm away from the charger. when
I lay down to sleep or rest, the phone is right next to my head so I will be sure to hear it if it rings.
I went into a near panic Sunday when I realized at home that I did
not have it on me. I searched frantically and could not find it. My daughter saved the day by calling my
number. I found the phone by following the ringing sound. It was right where I had put it ... in a spot where
I wouldn't forget where it was. Strange feeling.
Diana feels much better. Knowing there is nothing we can do to
make the situation better, she finally turned it over to God. She is now at peace with whatever God wills for Eric.
That is an answer to a prayer for me because I have been so worried about her. Now if I could only get there myself.
I've said before Diana and I are best friends. We still often sit
and just talk, sometimes for hours at a time. The past week has been difficult because neither of us could "just talk".
Our concern for Eric just overwhelmed everything. Sunday, for the first time since the accident, we finally were able
to "just talk" again. It was a great comfort to me and I hope to her as well.
Tim Villanueva, a firefighter with Windcrest, started a web site
for Eric. He's gathering pictures to post and has a link to the weblog where Eric's friends can leave messages.
He also puts these daily updates on the site. For those who might like to know a little more about Eric, the site is
http://lt38.tripod.com. "Lt" is for lieutenant and "38" is Eric's badge number at Windcrest.
As I mentioned before, Eric is still in very critical condition and the prognosis remains poor. The doctors and
nurses are quite surprised at how stable he is. They can't explain it, but I think it is the power of all the prayers
pouring in for him.
We've received e-mails letting us know that there are prayer groups all over the world praying for him. we
can't thank you all enough for all your thoughts and prayers. We never dreamed that complete and total strangers could
have so much compassion and concern.
For those who passed Eric's name and condition on to other prayer groups, please forward our thanks and let them know
that we think it is working. We thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Tuesday, March 14, 2006 8:56 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Monday
Dear Friends and Family,
Monday was another good day for Eric and us.
Eric remains stable and every day like that is good for his healing. The neurosurgeon removed one of the drains in his
skull which certainly sounds good to me.
Eric's fever was a little higher early on at 101.1 but was down to 100.7
by the evening. The doctors changed his antibiotics to better fight the infection. We expected the infection but
it still concerns us. Eric has enough going on to heal his broken parts. We really don't need an illness on top
of that.
On another very good note, the doctors stopped his anti-seizure medicine.
We pray that Eric will remain seizure free. Seizures are a risk with any brain injury and he is not out of the woods
regarding that.
They plan to replace his bed with an air bed to help keep the skin on
his back healthy. The air bed blows a layer of air between his skin and the mattress. This helps prevent bed sores
and makes it easier on the nurses and Eric when they have to move him around. Changing his sheets is a real chore because
he is a big boy. He is 5'11" and weighs over 300 pounds ... although he looks like he is losing weight.
They put a lot of fluid into him to help his heart action and that caused a
lot of swelling in his limbs. Some of that swelling, of course, is natural because he doesn't move. His body is
still swollen but the skin on his arms and legs doesn't feel so taut as it did previously.
His brain still does not produce the chemicals needed to control his
body functions. The doctors tried removing a chemical that controls his kidney functions but had to restart it
because his kidneys just poured fluid.
We see small signs of improvement, mainly the ongoing stability, and
it gives us cause to hope. His stability surprised the doctors and nurses but they still expect major crises to come
up. I almost fear hoping because I know I will crash in despair if we get a downturn.
Emotionally, things are a little better for me and much better for Diana.
Diana has, as she said the other day, resigned her position as the mother of a catastrophically injured child. She turned
Eric's fate over to God and is free now to be "just Eric's Mom." She was so tied up in her anguish and fear for
Eric that she had lost the "Mom-ability". She finds it much easier to talk with Eric now without breaking down.
As for me, I sometimes just want to resign without notice from this parenting
job. Still, despite how hard it is right now, raising Eric was a total joy and a blessing to both of us.
The doctors and nurses (especially the nurses) show such skill in
caring for Eric. There is no way we could ever repay their devotion, not just to Eric but to all the patients in ICU.
I don't know whether or not it is a trait unique to BAMC, but they certainly make us feel like Eric
is a part of their family as well. As I mentioned before, the hospital allows ICU visitors 24/7 (unless the patient's
family requests otherwise).
I had a couple of good night's of sleep but last night was difficult.
Once again, I could not turn off my brain. I slept perhaps two hours. No nightmares, fortunately, but a lot of
worries. There are so many unknowns right now, financial, intensive care, long-term rehab, legal issues, Social Security,
and just on and on and on.
We are beginning a routine we hope will work for the next few months
in the ICU. I will spend a couple of hours with Eric in the early morning, then come home to work on all the other
non-ICU issues. When Diana gets home from work, we will go to the hospital and spend part of the evening with Eric.
Brian and Renate plan to visit also after they finish work.
On weekends, we will play it by ear. We know we have to start doing
things and spending time for us. It is the way we keep ourselves strong. We need to work out a balance for
visiting Eric.
I seem to run out of steam by noon. The exhaustion just overwhelms
me at times, so I'm going to try to nap in the afternoons, at least during the week. I don't know how that will work
out because I have never napped in the afternoon. I have to do something because at this rate I will completely wear
out in a month!
Thank you to everyone keeping Eric in your prayers. I want to try
to answer everyone soon, but no guarantees. We so want to thank everyone for your e-mails and cards of support.
You have no idea how much even a simple, "Thinking of you," means.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Tuesday, March 14, 2006 5:53 PM
Subject: Eric Update - Monday Correction
Apparently, either because of my extreme fatigue or intense desire
for "good news" signs, I misunderstood some of what we learned yesterday. Eric remains on his anti-seizure medicine.
Seizures are still a very real concern and will remain so for some time to come.
I apologize to everyone who read my previous update for my error. Because
of it, I will certainly make greater efforts to understand and confirm any "good signs".
Sincerely,
Dave Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Wednesday, March 15, 2006 9:33 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Tuesday
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric had another stable day. The doctors have not raised
his condition nor their outlook; he remains very critical. Each day of stability raises our hopes just a tiny bit.
We remain convinced that the prayers from so many people of so many diverse faiths are a large part of the reason. We
know God watches over Eric. We continue to pray that He will guide the hands and skills of his medical caregivers.
They did not take Eric down for the surgery on his right arm. Although
we have not spoken with Dr. Perez, his neurosurgeon, we suspect Eric is just not strong enough now. Eric's orthopedic
surgeon said previously he would not do the surgery without Dr. Perez' agreement. I have noted the nurses taking greater care
to monitor the pulse in his right hand.
They finally got Eric into the new air bed in the late evening.
They did not have the correct extension for the bed to accommodate the awkward cast on his arm. The missing piece arrived
from Killeen Texas around 8:00 p.m. and he was in the new bed by 8:30.
The bed has an air mattress that helps provide easier support for his
body. This type of bed also reduces the risks of bedsores. I noticed that they have him lying flatter than on
the old bed. This should help reduce the swelling in his feet and lower legs.
I also noticed, over the past two days, that his nurses are more able
to leave him alone in the room for a few minutes. Usually, they are not more than fifteen feet from his room sitting
at a larger desk. I think this is so they have more room to do the never ending reporting and paperwork on
his condition.
On Wednesday, Dr. Perez plans to take Eric down for another CT scan.
A couple of hours later, Diana and I will meet with him to discuss the results. I ALWAYS dread these conferences.
I tend to build hope on small positive signs between scan days. I suppose it is the "no news is good news" syndrome.
Each time, the news we get from the scans is worse than my hopes.
Nevertheless, I can not begin to tell you how much we appreciate the
doctors sharing everything with us. It is always better to function and make decisions from knowledge than to wallow
in ignorance and fear.
Several people have asked for Eric's age. He is twenty-six.
He will be twenty-seven on March 25th. Others have asked about sending him cards and flowers. He can not have
them in his room in the ICU. Any cards we receive we keep in his room here at home.
Diana and I continue to cope one hour, one day at a time. Diana's
reversion to "Mom mode" has helped her tremendously. She comforts Eric in what small ways we can just as she did when
he was a little child. She sleeps well, now, and that makes me grateful. I suppose I feel a little guilty about
taking emotional strength from her. On the other hand, I do take care of the myriad, mundane, and irritating details
of getting Eric's affairs in order.
I continue to tear up at odd moments throughout the day. The overwhelming
grief has receded to bearable levels, mostly. I still have occasional problems with sleeping. Monday night I simply
could not turn off my brain, so I slept maybe one hour.
I have become obsessive about my cell phone. Part of Monday night's
problem was my continuous checking to make sure the phone was near my head, the battery was fully charged, the phone was on,
I had a spare battery nearby, and so on. I know it is unnatural, but I can't help myself. I also remain confident
the obsession will go away with time. If not, I will go get some help with it.
I was able to catnap for several hours during the day Tuesday.
That helped a lot.
Eating is an oddity, anymore. I get hungry but really have no appetite.
Most everything tastes like plastic and cardboard, although an occasional meal does taste really good. I recommend the
fish sandwiches in the BAMC cafeteria.
Sometimes, when I do eat, I struggle to keep it down. I talked
with a doctor at the hospital who tells me it is not an unusual reaction to a traumatic situation like ours. He says
not to worry about it for a month or so. In the meantime, I try to remember to take vitamins. Who knows,
perhaps I will regain my "girlish figure".
Another odd note is the change in my reading habits. From the age
of ten, I can't remember a day when I did not read something. I usually read one or two books every week as well as
a couple of newspapers or magazines every day. Reading has always been my great escape mechanism.
For the first week after the night of Eric's accident, I read almost
nothing. In the past couple of days, I've tried to read more. The problem is a lack of concentration. I
find myself reading the same sentence, sometimes the same word, over and over. I also find it difficult to remember
later what I read.
We desperately pray for rain here in San Antonio. This is a bad
time of year for my allergies. Because we have only had a half-inch of rain since October, every time the wind blows
it kicks up pollen and dust. Believe me, suffering from allergies at a time like this is adding insult to injury.
Tuesday was the first day Diana and I spent alone. We would not
trade the support of our families for anything and it was so very helpful while they were all here. But, I must admit
we did enjoy the solitude. We needed time alone as a couple without other distractions. Sometimes, just sitting
silently and holding hands is a blessing.
We continue to thank the guys and girls who come to visit Eric.
They often come at times when we are not or can not be there. We feel blessed that Eric has so many loving friends to
help support him and us.
We both thank all of you who receive these updates for your continuing
support. The prayers and the e-mails help so much.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Thursday, March 16, 2006 9:13 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Wednesday
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric had another good day. He remains critical but stable. We
really think all the prayers are working. Although we see no response from Eric, we all talk with him when we visit.
We all hope he will take comfort from our words of love and encouragement.
I noticed that the doctors have removed most of the IV fluids they had
going into him. They are also trying to get a line into his lower intestine to feed him some fiber.
They want to try getting his lower digestive system working. Currently, they feed him mostly vitamins and minerals through
his stomach tube. Eric appears to be losing weight which is o.k. for now.
The neurosurgeon ordered the drain in his skull turned off to see if
Eric's brain will be able to control the pressure. He is also beginning to show some signs of movement when someone
touches him. The doctors don't know yet if it is a brain-controlled reaction.
They decided to delay the CT scan until Thursday. We will have
a conference with his doctors on Friday morning to go over the results. As you may recall, they removed part of his
right skull to let the brain swell and relive pressure. That swelling appears smaller, so we suspect the swelling
in his brain is finally reducing.
We have to schedule a meeting with his HMO case worker today. She
wants to discuss insurance issues and long-term acute care/rehab. I know they are anxious to move Eric into one of their
"in system" hospitals. Fortunately, the BAMC doctors will not release him until they are confident he will survive the
movement. They have to renew permissions with the HMO every few days to keep Eric where he is.
I also plan to meet with an attorney, either Thursday or Friday, to begin
the process of taking legal guardianship of Eric. I'm not looking forward to it but it is an essential step to protect
Eric's life and financial status.
I'm writing this Thursday morning. I did not get to see Eric Wednesday
evening because I fell asleep in the early afternoon. Diana chose not to wake me and I am grateful. I slept until
6:00 a.m. this morning. Although I feel somewhat groggy, I also feel rested for the first time since the accident.
I decided to really make an effort to respond to the many e-mails we
receive. Even if it is no more than a simple "thank you", please understand that it comes from a heart full of emotions
and appreciation for all your thoughts and prayers.
Diana suggested I include the link to Tim's web page about Eric in each
of these updates. The link will appear after our signatures. Tim updates the site periodically with new pictures as
he receives them. There is also a link to Eric's message board.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Friday, March 17, 2006 1:37 AM
Subject: Eric Update Thursday
Dear Friends and Family,
Today was a "good day, bad day" combination. Eric remains in critical
but stable condition. Every stable day is a good day.
They took Eric down for a CT scan this afternoon. It takes them
about an hour or more to prepare him for the move. They have to carefully switch everything from wall power to battery.
It takes a couple of people to roll the bed because they also have to take all his IV's, drugs, and everything they need
to keep him going. It takes just as long to switch everything back when they return to his room.
We talked with the ENT doctor today. She wants to begin working
on repairing the facial fractures and broken jaw. The concern the doctors have is his broken bones may start to heal
improperly and will require additional reconstructive surgery. If they can do the work now, they will minimize the need
for surgery in the future.
We also discovered today that Eric's right ear canal was crushed in the
accident. The ENT doctor said by wiring his jaws together, they will stabilize virtually all the fractures.
We also talked with the orthopedic surgeon. He still needs to permanently
fix the broken bones in Eric's arm. His concern is the same as the ENT people. Even more important, the break
in his upper arm is near a nerve bundle. They are afraid that if they don't stabilize the break, it may cause nerve
damage that would further interfere with his healing.
We signed permissions for the surgeries. The doctors want to do
both their procedures at the same time to minimize the amount of time Eric has to stay under anesthesia. The doctors
think they can keep the surgery time to about two hours if they do both together. If they have to go separately, it
could be three and a half hours. Of course, both surgeries are dependent on an o.k. from Dr. Perez, his neurosurgeon.
His answer will depend on the results from the CT scan done this afternoon.
I am so fearful about more surgeries. There are so many things
that can go wrong because Eric is still in very critical condition.
The doctors have scheduled a 10:00 a.m. meeting with us. All the
doctors will be there to review the results of the CT scan and discuss treatment options. We know we will have
to begin making decisions based on the results. I dread the meeting with my whole being. Yet, I also wish they
would hurry up because the lack of knowledge just kills me.
The uncertainty is the worst aspect of this situation. I try
to prepare for the worst while praying for the best. The worst, unfortunately, is too horrible to contemplate and the
best will require a miracle. We've had so many miracles getting Eric to this point, I wonder if we ask for too much?
When I stand at Eric's bedside I feel so helpless. I hurt for him,
yet I also want to just shake him and tell him to get up. All I can do is stroke his arm and tell him how much I love
him and how much we are praying for him. The emotional ups and downs still hit hard even though I often feel numb most
of the time.
I spoke with Eric's HMO case worker today. She gave us the names
of a couple of long-term acute care hospitals to check out here in San Antonio. I plan to schedule an appointment with
both to see which one we would like to have for Eric. She assured me they are not going to pressure BAMC to move Eric
until his doctors give their approval. They already said Eric won't leave until they are satisfied he is out of danger.
I wanted to end this on a positive note, but I see nothing but gloom
and doom right now. I suspect I will have another difficult night tonight. Fortunately I napped for about four
hours earlier today.
By the way, for those coming in to visit Eric, the ICU is on lockdown
status. That means the doors don't automatically open. You have to go to the center set of doors and press the
white button on the intercom system. (You might have to push it more than once to get someone's attention.) When
the nurse answers, just tell them your name and you want to visit Eric Dopp. They will release the door for you.
Thanks to everyone keeping Eric and our family in your prayers
and thoughts. You people have nearly restored my faith in humanity. We've received several e-mails from complete
strangers letting us know they pray for us. We can't tell you how much it means to know that so many of you share our
tragedy with your friends. A burden shared is truly a burden lightened. Your thoughts and prayers do so much to
sustain me right now and I thank you for that.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Saturday, March 18, 2006 1:08 AM
Subject: Eric Update Friday
Dear Friends and Family,
This will be a short update. Today was one of the most difficult
days in our ordeal.
We met with all of his doctors this morning. The outlook is grim.
His neurosurgeon expressed concern that Eric's recovery of brain function is going poorly. The damage to Eric's brain
was very severe and deeper than first suspected. However, the swelling in his brain has stabilized and he is able to
maintain good intracranial pressures. Dr. Perez also advised us that Eric has a pressure fracture in his middle
back. They will not use a brace because bed rest will work to allow him to heal. They do not suspect any spinal
cord injury. We decided to wait another three weeks for the swelling to go down before making any further decisions
regarding life support.
Because of that decision, the ENT surgeon wanted to begin working on
Eric's facial fractures as soon as possible. By doing the work now, we will avoid several surgeries later. She
also wanted to replace the emergency tracheotomy with a more permanent tracheostomy. Also, the orthopedic surgeon wanted
to fix the broken bones in his arm. We gave our permission for the surgeries. They anticipated getting him into
surgery as soon as they could.
We left the hospital to get some rest. Because we live only five
miles away, the nurse agreed to call us when they began preparing Eric for surgery.
We received the call that Eric was going to surgery at 4:50 p.m.
We were on the ICU floor at 5:10 just as Eric went into the surgical unit. We anticipated three hours of surgery but
it actually lasted over six and a half hours. The surgery to repair his arm took over five hours because of the severity
of the break.
We are back home to get a few hours rest before we go back to visit Eric
in the morning.
I can not begin to describe how emotionally and physically exhausted
we are. The constant worry and fear just seems to eat at us all the time. Part of the problem is the constant
uncertainty about what will happen next. No one seems willing or able to predict what will happen. Hopefully,
these updates will help some other family someday to better prepare for the battering that comes from this kind of emergency.
I dread the thought of getting up in the morning to go back to the
hospital. I want to cry, but there are just no tears left in me.
Strange thoughts go through my mind during these interminable periods
of waiting and worrying. Tonight, the thought of how proud Eric was when he became an Eagle Scout would not leave me.
He joined the Boy Scouts because his brother was one. He soon lost interest and dropped out of Scouting. When
Brian became an Eagle Scout, Eric got fired up again. He rejoined Scouting at the age of fifteen and completed
his last merit badge for Eagle just a couple of days before he turned eighteen. He was so proud of that achievement
yet never bragged about it.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Saturday, March 18, 2006 9:58 PM
Subject: Eric Update - Saturday
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric remains stable but unresponsive. He is still in critical condition
and requires much life support.
I received a call at 7:30 this morning from Eric's orthopedic surgeon.
He said after examining the X-rays of Eric's arm taken this morning, he needed to go back in to re-fix his upper arm break.
When they operated last night, they had to use a fluoroscope to properly
position the bones. A fluoroscope is a low-dose X-ray machine that lets the doctors see inside the arm in real time.
Because of the severity of the break in the upper arm, the doctor had to use a nail inserted through the length of the bone
to pin the broken parts together.
The problem in the surgery last night was the upper arm bone was
broken horizontally but the lower part of the broken bone was also fractured vertically. They used the nail to give
the bone a solid vertical piece and screws inserted through the bone and into the nail to both hold everything in place and
repair the vertical fracture.
The fluoroscope, unfortunately, does not provide as clear a picture as
a regular X-ray. He discovered from the X-rays this morning that the upper arm had a 1/4 inch gap at the horizontal
break. He needed to replace the nail with a shorter one to close the gap.
Eric went back to surgery this morning a little after 11:30 a.m.
The surgeon came to us shortly after 1:00 p.m. to tell us everything was fine. We breathed a sigh of relief and released
a little of the fear that is a constant companion anymore.
Diana and I talked while we waited. We both agree that the constant
state of fear and tension we feel is unbearable at times. The atmosphere around the Intensive Care Unit is intense.
(No pun intended.) You probably have heard the expression, "The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife."
We understand now that it is an expression of physical fact, not a simile.
We agreed that we must find a way to take a break from the constant tension.
We decided today that if Eric came through the surgery with no complications, we would take that break. We would leave Brian,
our older son, on call for Eric. As next of kin, he could make decisions for us or sign permissions if necessary.
One of the ways we often relax on weekends is to take a road trip.
We decided today to drive one hundred miles east to the little town of Schulenburg. There is a great little restaurant
there called the Oakridge Smokehouse.
This is the time of year when the wild flowers bloom in Texas and one
of our favorite times for road trips. The highways are beautiful beyond description with the riotous colors of the flowers,
especially the Blue Bells. We enjoyed the beauty of the drive and the leisurely dinner at the restaurant. The
drive home was just as enjoyable.
The trip did not solve any of our problems, but it did give us a chance
to enjoy a small escape. I feel much more able to cope with the difficulties and decisions to come this week.
I still feel the effects of severe sleep deficit, but I suspect I will sleep better tonight because the tension is so much
lower.
Diana will have to go back to work beginning Monday. I plan to
go to the hospital around 6:30 in the mornings to spend a few hours with Eric. I'll come home to spend the rest of the
day dealing with the legal and financial ramifications of Eric's life. Diana will visit Eric in the evenings.
On the weekends, we will both spend time with him but also plan to spend time away just for us. Even if it is no more
than a few hours road tripping, we think it is essential for our mental and physical health.
The continuing outpouring of support, concern, and prayers from all of
you means so very much to all of us. As I recently wrote in a response to an e-mail from one of Eric's friends, "We
really do not have a clue how to handle this situation. We deal with it one day, sometimes one hour, at a time.
Knowing that we have the support and concern of our family and friends, as well as our faith in God to lead us to do
the right things, is really what keeps us going." Despite this horrible situation, we are blessed in so many ways.
We count all of you among our many blessings.
Attached is a picture of a couple of Eric's favorite toys.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Monday, March 20, 2006 1:53 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Sunday
Dear Friends and Family,
Today was a heart-wrenching day for us. Because I am far too distraught
to write, this will be a very short update. I will include excerpts from an e-mail we received from one of Eric's friends.
We went to the hospital this morning to visit Eric only to discover that
his condition was declining. His sodium levels were rising again, indicating that his basic brain functions continued
to decline. This setback was unrelated to the previous two surgeries.
We spoke with the neurosurgeons who said his chances of any recovery
from his current status were extremely remote. We asked the doctors to stop their heroic efforts to save his life.
They will maintain his body in a comfortable state but let nature take its course.
One of Eric's often stated and greatest fears was living on life
support. He repeatedly asked us not to allow that to happen to him. The decision Diana and I made was to carry
out his pre-accident decision.
Following are some excerpts from an e-mail we received from Frank Castillo
that, we think, capture the essence of our dearly loved young man. Frank is a former Windcrest PD officer and one of
Eric's very good friends.
I also attached Diana's favorite picture of Eric.
We thank you for your prayers and ask that you continue those prayers
for our family.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
From: Frank Castillo
I just wanted to again thank you for notifying
me of Eric's incident and hospital information. As you know, he has made many friends from a lot of different departments
(from throughout the area, and beyond, I'm sure). Although we unfortunately no longer worked together, he and I
still talked frequently, and when our schedules permitted, got together on occasion for lunch.
Eric was one of the first (real) friends that I made when
I moved to San Antonio from the coast in 2000 (my first job relocating here was my being employed as a Windcrest
PD dispatcher). Fortunately, for myself, he and I easily became friends, discovering that
we have the same interests (public safety, radio communications, music, etc.). I am forever appreciative
of how he assisted in making me feel welcome in that particular job, my being new
to the 'big city' and all (I was originally raised in a small town, and being at Windcrest helped me adjust
somewhat to SA life). As I think back, I realize that he didn't have to do this, since he was in a different department
and all (as police and fire depts. sometimes have their differences, and Windcrest was sometimes no exception). Though,
as I later found out, this was just a small part of Eric's overall character. He and I had seemed to both agree
that friendship knew no boundaries, including departmental.
In addition, he and I would sometimes get together after my shift ended
(usually after my 3p-11p) to grab a bite to eat and talk. He was usually 'on call' for WFVD at that time, which
I didn't mind. We would usually go to Taco Cabana (this was usually the only decent place open in the
response area at that hour), and thus, he could get his usual, bean/cheese tacos (he seems to have a penchant for
those) and a large Dr. Pepper, no ice. We talked about everything from work's events to daily events, all while monitoring
all area police/fire 2-way traffic on our radios.
Due to the seriousness of our respective occupations,
we both quickly realized that we had the same level of humor, another great attribute of Eric's. Recanting
stories between us, we would laugh at just about anything (or sometimes anyone) that happened to cross our paths
in and outside our corresponding lines of work. Of course, before we knew it, it would be 2am or later and
I lived "across the world/aka NW side"; but we would say our goodbyes and then keep talking anyway. He always laughed
at how around that particular time, my wife would sometimes call, asking if I was planning on coming home anytime
'before my next shift started again'. Of course, she knew I was hanging out with him, so she knew all was okay.) Meeting
Eric definitely made my time there at the PD more enjoyable, as well as bearable.
Unfortunately, as time passed, the rigors
of my particular shift (a relief shift that typically consisted of combined day, evening and overnight shifts) took
its toll on me, and I left Windcrest in early 2003 for work in the private sector. As luck would have it, I would subsequently
(yet, predictably) miss law enforcement, and yet thanks in part to Eric's constant encouragement, I quickly
re-entered that field, and have now been employed with SAPD [San Antonio Police Department] since 2004 (currently
as an investigator). I will always be appreciative towards him for helping my transition back to my
preferred forte, since I felt most comfortable and, as you stated that he had told you recently, "I am happiest in this
field". This is yet another great example of one of his attributes - honesty.
In regards to my sendoff from the PD, however, indeed
this was quite 'memorable', again thanks to Eric. On the evening of my last shift, he visited me throughout
the shift, but in particular (but unnoticed by me at the time), had asked me a couple of times if I had planned
to get out early. I told him that although that was indeed a great idea, I had already decided to stay
and complete the shift, so as not to inconvenience anyone else. As my shift came to an end, however, I noticed
that he was not in the immediate area. Moreover, as the officer's shift change progressed (our and their shift
changes were staggered for coverage purposes), there was a lot of laughing going on amongst themselves as they passed my small
office. I didn't suspect anything though, as I was busy with paperwork, and only after being officially relieved and clearing
out my locker (also saying my goodbyes to the evening shift, I'm sure much to Eric's initial dismay) did I begin that 'last
walk' down the hall to the parking lot. As I did so, I reminisced of my time spent at the PD, and then slowly,
set out to my vehicle in the lot.
On that particular evening, my truck was parked towards
the far end of parking lot. Due to the poor lighting, I didn't notice at first; but as I got
closer to my vehicle, I was saw what appeared to be a light, waxy sheen all over my truck. On
closer approach, what I first thought was a heavy mist ended up being saran wrap covering my entire
truck, from the bottom of my wheels to top of the cab and toolbox. And we are not talking just one layer, sir. It was
at least 10-15 layers (maybe more, one tends to lose count when walking around and around his vehicle,
unwrapping it and laughing/cursing). In addition, embedded in this wrap were some interesting items, such as plastic
utensils and toy police gear (i.e. handcuffs/baton, etc, which I kept as evidence to remember this 'prank'). Also, there was
shoe polish on all of my windows, with such intriguing phrases for all to see, such as, "Call for
a good time", & "Honk if you're Horny", to name a few, (a real thrill for anyone passing by to see, I'm sure).
So, as I began the ardent task of unwrapping my
vehicle by myself, low and behold, Eric shows up with his friends/accomplices, piercing the evening with their laughter. Of
course, my former fellow officers had returned to the station lot as well for the duration of the joke, (he
had already admitted to being the mastermind of what I have to admit was a damn good prank). However, he
already knew that I was actually never upset at him about it (I played along with the 'mad act' until I just
couldn't anymore), and he and his friends subsequently helped me 'unwrap' his farewell gift to me.
Ironically, I not only left that parking lot that
night laughing all the way home, but I left that job feeling that at least someone was unique (and caring)
enough to give me something to forever remember it by. As I see it now, indeed humorous as it was, there are many ways
to ascertain how symbolic that wrap was to me. One of my habits is wanting to keep things bottled up inside, as
well as never wanting to take the 'work' home with me (i.e. work stress, frustration with the people you dealt with,
etc.). Eric seemed to sense this, and actually unwrapping that truck that night was a hilarious, yet therapeutic relief of
sorts for me, as if he knew that I wasn't going to be dealing with that particular job (or it's aspects) anymore.
In addition, just talking to him when we would get
together after work (even after I left Windcrest) was good for us both as well, as there were times when I
would vent, and he would vent as well. In reality, I consider myself to be a particularly 'picky' person
when it comes to talking to anyone about personal things in my life, and Eric is one of those few friends that I
feel comfortable confiding in, and he seems to feel the same way. This is just another one of the many, yet most important attributes
that I am forever grateful and appreciative to Eric for. He is definitely a listener, and in doing so, would not ignore
a friend in need of help.
Moreover, some of these many examples include him
assisting me with a 2-way radio installation in my truck (which lasted quite some time into the night, and only after I insisted, reluctantly
took the money I had to stuff in his tired hand), by going clear across town to help me get to a mechanic, or (most
memorable), giving some medical related advice to me for my wife, who was very ill at the time. Most recently,
he had assisted me over the phone on clearing up some issues on my PC, unselfishly staying with me on the phone until
these problems were resolved. I do not hesitate to say that your son is indeed a kind and caring person, and
you and your family should be very proud of him. Personally, in many ways, he is like the brother I never had.
Please know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Frank Castillo
***
Sent: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 6:16 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Monday
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric remains unchanged in critical condition. The doctors
anticipate it could be two days to a week before he passes away. Although we have stopped the heroic efforts to keep
him alive, we have not turned off all life support. We will probably ask them to remove the ventilator tomorrow because
he continues trying to breath over it.
His heart and lungs appear to be the strongest systems left to him.
The doctors were unable to restart his digestive system which is another indication of the severity of his brain injury.
We are not restricting visitation for Eric because so many of his
friends want to come visit him. Our decision to let Eric's body go remains a very stressful and difficult one.
There are simply no words to describe how utterly painful and devastating it is to lose a child.
I continue having problems sleeping and eating. I know it is because
I'm the Dad and I'm supposed to protect the kids. I feel so helpless because our son is hurt in the worst possible way
and there is nothing I can do to make it better. It matters not that others with so much more knowledge and skills
in caring for patients like Eric can do nothing. I'm the Dad. I try so hard to let God take the burden, but the
thought echoes through my mind constantly, "I'm the Dad."
Meanwhile,
we try to focus on all the good Eric did and the many friends he made. On Sunday afternoon we visited with one of the
guys from Eric's Leon Valley crew. We shared stories about Eric and how surprised we were at how rich his life was.
It seems like every person who comes to see Eric has some story about his care, concern, dedication, or fun-loving nature.
I made the comment that it would have been easier on us if Eric had never
made it to the hospital. One devastating blow and then time to grieve. Alex said that on the other hand, if we
had not had these two weeks, we likely would never have known so much about Eric's life away from our family.
I realized the truth and comfort of his words today at the hospital.
Eric had a visit from the counselor at Pershing Elementary School, one of the schools Diana worked in. Every year, the
school has a Career Day when people from the community come in to talk about their jobs.
Eric was a presenter for the past couple of years and looked forward
to doing so again this year. Yolanda said the kids loved Eric's presentations. She brought many cards made by
students who remembered Eric. Several of them brought tears to my eyes because of the simple affection so many
kids expressed in their cards.
For one of his presentations, Eric talked about working on a transplant
team. Eric always preferred working wacky, off-the-wall jobs between school sessions. While attending EMT school
at the University of Texas Health Science Center, he heard of an opening on the University Hospital transplant team for a
person trained as an EMT. He applied and got the part-time job.
Eric's task was to receive the donor organ from the surgeon and prepare
it for transport. He carried it and remained responsible for the organ until they returned to the hospital. At
the other end, he removed the preservative transport solutions and ice and prepared the organ for the surgeons to implant
in the new patient.
It is an important function but when asked about his job, Eric usually
just said, "I'm the guy who carries the cooler."
Eric was never one to pass up an opportunity to pull a prank. When
he went to Pershing Elementary to do his transplant presentation, he took an organ transport box as a visual aid. (It
looks like a picnic cooler.) He told the counselor that he had intestines in his cooler. Eric, of course, got
the shocked expression he craved, and cracked up laughing when he showed her the cooler actually had brochures and other things
for his presentation.
Eric told us one of his most memorable episodes on the transplant team
was the day he had to help with an open heart massage. The team had harvested a heart to transplant into a young
boy with serious heart disease. Eric was one of the first team members scrubbed and in surgery because he had to prepare
the new heart.
The surgeon doing the transplant came into the operating room to prepare
the boy for the transplant. Suddenly the surgeon said, "Eric! I need your help. You have to massage the
boy's heart."
Something had gone wrong with the boy and there was no one else
scrubbed to come into the surgery. Eric said he did not know how to do heart massage but the surgeon said he would show
him. He placed Eric's hands on the boy's heart and showed him the proper method and rhythm to follow.
Eric pumped the boy's heart for some ten minutes or so while the surgeon
tried to fix whatever was going wrong. The other team members finally came in and relieved Eric. The boy ultimately
did not survive, but the surgeon told Eric that without his help they would have had no chance. It was the only time
Eric ever talked with us about any transplant operations. He called it a bittersweet moment because he got to do something
so exciting but the boy did not make it.
Just another story about Eric that we will hold as a precious memory.
We continue to thank everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and support
in this difficult time. Diana's strong faith has been a rock for me. I can not imagine going through this alone.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Wednesday, March 22, 2006 8:25 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Tuesday
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric remains comfortable. As I mentioned before, BAMC is a training
hospital in addition to being one of the best trauma centers. Tuesday, the hospital had another medic in training working
with Eric's regular nurse. Eric would be so pleased because he loved training others.
This update is late getting out because I woke up late. I
tried taking a nap in the afternoon but only managed a couple of hours of restless dozing. I took a sleeping pill Tuesday
night after Diana came home that finally worked. I slept through the night but still feel tired. The lack of sleep
is one of the most troubling aspects of this journey because fatigue interferes with everything.
Diana went to work again Tuesday and made it through the day. It
is so hard for her but the work provides some much needed distraction.
My three sisters arrived Tuesday from Georgia around noon. Brian,
Renate and I went to lunch with them at a Marie Callendar's restaurant next to the hotel. Typical Dopps, they kept encouraging
me to eat. I managed a small salad and shared a few bites of pie with Linda.
Unfortunately, I just have no appetite for food right now. They
said the food was good. It still tastes like plastic and cardboard to me. The service was less than stellar.
Diana made me take some vitamins, which I often forget to do, when she got home.
I met with Ronnie Cain our city administrator who went through something
similar to our experience. Talking with him helped my emotional state to some extent. The Windcrest mayor and
the fire chief also joined us. It helps knowing how respected Eric is and how much he meant to them and to the city.
Eric is a good man but I think it is important to know that he was not
perfect. He was messy (much like his father, there) and had a penchant for leaving his shoes wherever he took them off.
His shoes were usually somewhere where I could stumble over them in the dark! He was improving in that he usually confined
most of his messiness to his bedroom.
He could also become quite moody although he just would not talk about
what was bothering him. He could be obstinate about doing chores around the house. He would sometimes sulk and
pout if he couldn't get his way. Sometimes, I suspected he acted that way only because he knew it aggravated me.
On the other hand, his smile could light up a room. He had a knack for
throwing out one-liners that could have us near collapse in helpless laughter.
I recall one day in particular when he was in high school. Because
his school was on the way to work for us, either Diana or I would drive him. One morning Diana and I got into one of
those silly, teasing arguments that married couples often do about who was taking him to school that morning.
We both wanted to take him and bickered for a few minutes about who would
do so. Diana finally turned to Eric and said to him, "Eric, you just go with the one you love the most."
Eric looked at his mother, looked at me, then turned to our family dog
and said, "Come on, Heidi. Let's go." Needless to say, we all laughed until the tears ran down our cheeks.
I don't remember which of us he went with that day, but it is still a memorable day.
I thought I would leave this update today with Eric's all-time, favorite
prayer.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Wednesday, March 22, 2006 9:51 PM
Subject: Eric Update - Wednesday
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric continues to steadily decline. When I arrived at the hospital
this morning, the nurse said Eric's heart rate had increased significantly. Because this is a sign of pain, they gave
him a substantial dose of morphine. The morphine had no effect on his heart rate which is both sad and a blessing.
It is sad because it is an indication of further declines in his brain function. It is a blessing because it also indicates
that Eric is in no pain.
Today has been a strange day. For the most part, I feel numb and
withdrawn from the whole situation. Yet, I know the extreme sadness is merely lurking under the surface. Several
times during the day I felt the overwhelming grief begin to surface. I dread tomorrow because I suspect the grief will
predominate.
I feel that my prayers have become quite feeble. I sometimes feel
that I have no reserves left. I am so saddened that not even God can comfort me.
We began the painful process of making funeral arrangements. Chief
Tom Winn of the Windcrest Fire Department and Chief Stan Irwin of the Leon Valley Fire Department said they plan to give Eric
a firefighter's funeral. They will handle all the aspects of that. The San Antonio Fire Department will provide
the honor guard and their antique fire engine which they use to transport fallen firefighters. They will also provide
the bag pipes and bugler.
Many other fire departments plan to include engines, ambulances, and official
cars for the procession from the service to the cemetery. They will also provide crews and equipment to cover the
Windcrest and Leon Valley areas which will free up his comrades to attend the funeral. The support of the firefighting
brotherhood simply overwhelms us.
My son Brian and his wife Renate took on the huge task of doing
all the legwork in choosing a funeral home and cemetery. The funeral home will donate the cemetery plot as a gesture
of appreciation to firefighters for their service to the community.
The cemetery is in Selma, a small town just outside San Antonio. Eric
would love the rolling hills and trees. He also would like that it overlooks the Verizon Amphitheater. He worked
as medic there for several large rock concerts and enjoyed the experience.
My sisters and Diana's brother Ken are devoting much time to being with
Eric. It is a great comfort knowing that family is there when we have to take care of other things.
We thank everyone who continues to care and pray for us. You can
never know how very much your support means to our family. It is a debt we could never repay.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Friday, March 24, 2006 8:36 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Thursday
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric remains in stable condition.
Diana's brother Bobby came in Thursday afternoon. Ken, her other
brother, spent nearly all day with Eric. My three sisters provided some much needed support for me.
Thursday morning I reached the lowest point of my life. My
faith in God, my entire life lay in shattered pieces around me. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my body.
Raging anger and despair controlled my every minute.
My anger at the total unfairness of this whole situation is beyond description
and colored everything around me. I was angry at Eric's body for clinging to life. I was angry at my sisters for
having the capacity to hug me and love me when I felt so unlovable. I was angry at the doctors for not fixing Eric.
I was angry at God for not giving us the healing we so desperately want. I was in despair at the constant thought that
Eric will never be here again for us. I was in despair at the loss of the oh so wonderful life I had before March 4th.
I was in despair that I can not comfort my family in this, our greatest hour of need.
The anger and despair had me on the verge of tears all day. How
could anyone stand to be around me? I could not stand being around me and I could not escape. I finally left Eric's
room and went out to smoke somewhere alone.
As I stood outside, the words of one of my favorite poems began to run
through my mind. Those who went to Geneva High School with me may well remember "Invictus" by William Earnest Henley.
The last stanza of the poem continuously looped through my memory.
"It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am
the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."
As I thought about
the words and what they mean, I felt a certain calmness return to my spirit. I AM the master of my fate. No one
is responsible for my inner peace and happiness but me. As adults, we often can not control what happens to us.
As adults, we CAN choose how we react to the vicissitudes of life. If our reactions do not help matters, we must
consciously choose other reactions until we find what works best.
The anger I felt did neither
me nor anyone else any good. Anger weakens me and makes me less able to deal with this tragedy. I must put my anger aside and accept that this tragedy has changed our lives.
I am not the master
of Eric's fate, nor Diana's fate, nor my sisters', nor anyone else. I AM the master of my fate. "The fell clutch
of circumstance" will not break me. I choose life. I choose love. I choose happiness all in good time.
The picture is bleak right now and I know that my grief will dominate my life for some time to come. But I also know
I WILL get through it, life will go on, and I will be happy again.
If we think of our
souls as ships, then God is the Admiral. He directs the grand movements and may even guide an individual ship, but the
captain runs the ship. We can not know the grand plan. Instead, we rely on the Admiral. Our job is to run
our ship the best way we know to support the grand plan.
We may not enjoy the
task assigned to us. We may be angry at the Admiral for assigning it, but we must do our best to fulfill it. "It
matters not how strait the gate."
These thoughts helped
me release a lot of the anger I felt (and still feel, to some extent.) A certain amount of peace returned to me as I
slowly walked back to Eric's room. "I AM the master of my fate."
I still feel angry
at the circumstances, but not to the disabling point. I still feel despair, but not the bleak, black, unholy depths
of earlier in the morning. Surprisingly, I feel a flicker of hope and a certainty that the Admiral will guide me through
this.
I'm done with praying
for miracles. Those prayers were for "my will be done." Instead, I will pray for "Thy will be done." No
matter what happens, I now have the strength to go on. "I AM the captain of my soul."
Who would have thought
that a simple poem, written by a disease-ravaged man 130 years ago, and learned in a high school English class more than forty-five
years ago would become a foundation rock of support?
We continue to thank
you for your prayers for our family. Your e-mails and cards of encouragement and sympathy help make this painful burden
easier to bear. No one really knows what to say in these circumstances. Let me assure you that a simple, "Thinking
of you" is sufficient and means so much.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Friday, March 24, 2006 4:35 PM
Subject: Eric Update - Friday
Dear Friends and Family,
Our beloved son Eric Michael Dopp passed away at 10:30 this morning.
Eric never regained consciousness and never showed any signs of distress. His condition had remained stable throughout
the night and morning hours. I was holding his hand as he stopped breathing. His fire chief from Leon Valley was
holding his other hand.
It seems fitting, in a way, that I was the first to hold him when he
came into the world and the last to hold him when he went out. It seems strange that just this morning I prayed, "Thy
will be done."
Although not unexpected, his passing was very swift and not the gradual
decline we all anticipated. Needless to say, my grief overwhelms me. Although I feel somewhat better this afternoon,
this update will remain brief.
We plan to hold the funeral service a week from Saturday.
By coincidence, that will be April 1st. Eric, loving April Fool's jokes as he did, would have appreciated the irony.
Thanks to everyone who prayed or thought about us during this most trying
of times. We sincerely appreciate your support. I will continue these updates for a few days or until I no longer
need this outlet.
For those who asked, I include the complete text of "Invictus".
It seems appropriate right now.
INVICTUS
OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever
gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under
the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the
Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait
the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William E. HENLEY
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Saturday, March 25, 2006 8:37 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Additional to Friday
Dear Friends and Family,
As I write this, it is Saturday morning. Eric would be 27 today.
I spent most of the night awake, pacing and thinking about our son, my
heart aching at the thought of never seeing him, never holding him again in this life.
My thoughts continuously drifted to the glorious day twenty-seven
years ago when he came into this world.
Lamaze was the "in thing" method of child birth in 1979. Diana
and I religiously attend Lamaze classes during her pregnancy. I was so excited about being her coach during labor.
I felt such a part of this pregnancy and eagerly looked forward to the birth.
Eric was our second child. Our first, Brian, was nearly born in
a VW bus on the side of the road. We were determined not to let that happen again! We wanted to truly prepare
for this birth.
When Diana went into labor with Eric, she calmly continued her daily
routines until it was time to go to the hospital. There was no frantic rush to get to the hospital, no worries about
forgetting anything. We were prepared and ready.
I coached Diana through her labor and things progressed well. We
both knew what to expect and the pain was bearable.
Our doctor, on the other hand, must have had a horrible day. It
seems most of his near-term patients decided to have their babies all on the same day. The delivery rooms and labor
rooms were all full. As Diana's delivery time approached, we noted the look of weariness on the doctor's face.
Diana was prepped and ready for delivery. I was prepared to help
in any way I could, yet knowing that this part of her journey she had to do on her own. Suddenly, the doctor tapped
me on the shoulder and said, "I'm tired. Why don't you do the delivery?"
To say I was surprised does not begin to describe my feelings.
When I expressed my fear of not knowing what to do, the doctor assured me he would coach me through it. With my heart
in my throat and beating a thousand times a minute, I moved from the head of the bed to the foot.
The doctor described what I needed to do and what to expect. In
just a few minutes I held my new-born son in my trembling hands. For just a moment, I could barely see for the tears
in my eyes. Eric lay quietly in my arms with his bright blue eyes gazing around.
He was not yet breathing on his own. I felt such a powerful bond
with this precious new life. The bond was just as strong as with his older brother but happened so much faster.
The doctor showed me how to suction the mucous from his mouth.
Eric hollered just a little and began breathing. The doctor quickly examined him and then told me to lay him on Diana's
stomach.
I remember telling her, "We have a son!" I don't know if she heard
me or not. She was sweaty and panting with her hair in straggles around her face. She was the most beautiful thing
I had ever seen, before or since. I was so amazed at what she accomplished.
The doctor showed me how to clamp and cut the umbilical cord. I
remember my surprise at how tough the cord was. It was difficult to cut. The nurse quickly cleaned Eric,
wrapped him in a plastic bag (to keep his skin moist) and blankets, then placed him in his mother's arms.
As I started to move away from the bed, the doctor told me to wait.
I wasn't done, yet. He coached me on how to deliver the placenta and to check it for defects. The entire
delivery was the most amazing feat I ever accomplished. It is a moment I have and will treasure my entire life.
As I stood trembling with excitement next to Diana, sharing our joy at
Eric's birth, I cracked to the doctor, "So. Does this mean we get to split your fee?"
I will never forget his laughing response. "No. You don't
pay me to deliver your baby. You pay me to know what to do if something goes wrong." At that moment, I would gladly
have paid him three times his price!
We went yesterday to check out the cemetery Brian and Renate chose
for Eric's burial. It is a quiet spot on a hillside looking over a valley. It is an area Eric loved; as Brian
said, "...his stomping ground." I could not have chosen better myself.
I want to include a copy of a message I sent last night to Renate's mother.
"Renate has been a great blessing and a Godsend to us in this most difficult
time. Her love, support, and care for Brian was all we asked in this time when we could not be there for him.
"She did all we asked and so much more. She tackled every problem
that came our way as if it was her responsibility. She relieved us of so many burdens and made it easier for us to focus
all our attention on Eric.
"She is a wonderful daughter-in-law and even more a wonderful daughter.
We love her as if she was our flesh and blood. There is no way we could ever thank her enough or repay her for her selfless
devotion to our well-being. There are no words to express how much it means to me that she could be Brian's strength
in his hour of need.
"I am so happy that she is in our lives."
I am so impressed with how "grown up" Brian is. His maturity
and strength in bearing his grief while supporting us in ours is far beyond family love. I am so proud of him for the
wonderful man he is.
Thank you for all your replies of sympathy and condolence. Although
there are no words to relieve our pain, we so appreciate your efforts to help us share our burden.
The Leon Valley fire department plans to establish a memorial fund for
Eric. In lieu of flowers, we will request contributions to the fund. We hope to raise enough to establish a permanent
fund to help other firefighter families faced with a tragedy such as ours. We may use some of the funds to help defray
what we expect will be a horrendous medical bill for his care. I'll provide more details later.
I will do a Saturday update later tonight.
We continue to pray for God's mercy on us and his blessings on all of
you. We know he will take care of Eric now.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Sunday, March 26, 2006 9:46 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Saturday
Dear Friends and Family,
Life is so surreal right now. A month ago
Diana and I were planning what to get Eric for his birthday. On his birthday, we planned how to bury him. It was
so difficult to just sit at the funeral home, trying to make decisions about various aspects of the funeral.
Depression and grief overwhelmed me Saturday;
more than it ever has before in my life. Partly, I suppose, the reality of our loss begins to settle into my soul, partly,
I suppose, as a result of the decompression from the extreme stress of the past three weeks, partly, I suppose, because Saturday
was Eric's birthday.
Images of the moment of Eric dying stick in my
mind and simply will not release me. I feel so glad that I was there, yet I so fervently wish I had not witnessed it.
Though his death was quiet and peaceful, the horror of the moment just unmans me at times. I am completely unable to pray. I just can not get beyond a cry of, "God, God, oh God."
Emotionally, I feel no happiness and anticipate
no happiness ever again. Yet, consciously I know happiness will come sometime in the future. I laughed during
the day, not because whatever was funny, but rather because I thought it was appropriate for normal people to laugh.
It was a hollow laugh.
I watched and read a little of the news going
on in the world for the first time in weeks. I watched the death and destruction caused by differences in religious
belief. I thought of friendships strained because of differences in political philosophy. I watched the newsreaders,
nearly trembling with a fervent glee at reporting death, destruction, gloom and doom. I watched as the politicians rushed
to seek political advantage by blaming all the ills of the world on the other party. All I could think of is how shallow
and meaningless all these are.
It saddens me that it seems so many have lost
or ignore the true priorities of life. The love of and for your family, the love of and for your children, these
are the only real priorities with true meaning. There is a saying, "Never sweat the small stuff. Everything is small."
All the squabbles, all the arguments, all the differences, all the anger, these are only petty "small stuff" that we should
set aside at the end of the day.
When I was in college, a wise professor told Diana
and me that everyone makes mistakes with their children, but your children will forgive you all mistakes if they know you
love them. We are so grateful that we embraced that philosophy. We are so grateful that Eric lived his life every
day knowing that he was dearly loved. We are so grateful that Brian lives his life every day wrapped in the comfort
of love. We are so grateful that all our children know, or should know, how dearly loved they are. I am so grateful for
the love Diana and I share that gives me the strength to go on each day.
I paused here for a moment after writing the paragraph
above. For just a fleeting moment, I felt a touch of peace in my heart. Maybe there is light at the end of this
gruesome, endless, unremitting tunnel of darkness.
We thank you for your continuing prayers, thoughts
and sympathy for us and our family. I thank you for praying for me when I simply can not.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Sunday, March 26, 2006 10:21 PM
Subject: Eric Update Sunday
Dear Friends and Family,
Today was a much better day than yesterday. In hindsight, it was
grave error in judgment for me to go to the funeral home. I should have waited until today or tomorrow. My only
thought at the time was to hurry to get it over. Note to self: never make hasty decisions during a trying time like
this.
Even with a sleeping pill, I only managed four hours sleep last night.
Tonight, I will try two pills. I also notice that my appetite has returned and food tastes better. During much
of the past three weeks, I usually ate only a small salad at lunchtime or an occasional sandwich. It was hard to keep
anything else down.
This morning, Diana and I decided a road trip was the order of the day.
We drove over to Marion, a small town a few miles east of here, and walked through Schultz' Nursery. We contemplated
buying another tree for our Covina property to replace some of the trees we lost there last year. We elected to go back
at another time because we feel now is not the time to make "tree" decisions.
We left Marion and decided to go on to Schulenburg for lunch at the Oakridge
Smokehouse. The wild flowers were even more beautiful than the last trip we made. After lunch (we both highly
recommend the buffet ... expensive but always excellent) we decided to avoid the freeway and come home by the back roads.
We traveled north to LaGrange and west to Bastrop before heading south
to home. The fields and roadside were a riot of color. I was surprised at the blooms because we are in a severe
drought. I suppose the little rain we had at various times came at just the right moments.
The drive was about two hundred fifty miles, a good day trip
here in south central Texas. The day was perfect for driving with mostly clouds to keep it cool and enough sun to show
off the flowers at their best. We returned home rested and refreshed, prepared to meet the coming week. As I told
Diana, the gas is expensive but it is cheap therapy and probably more effective than any other kind.
We remain extremely sad but managed to come through this day in good
shape. Our grief feels more manageable today. We thank God for all the beauty He placed in our path today.
It refreshed and strengthened us for today and we both desperately needed the relief.
I spoke with all my kids today, mainly to tell them I think of them
and I love them.
My son Brian continues to impress me. Last night he stepped in
to comfort his mother when I had nothing left to give. They cried on each other's shoulder and felt some relief.
Like a wounded animal, I could only crawl into a hole and lick my own wounds. No one could help me and I could help
no one. I pray those days come few and far between. I hate self-pity.
I planned to include Eric's obituary in this update but elected to wait
until we have final information on the memorial fund. Visitation will be Friday, March 31 from 5:00 p.m. until 9:00
p.m. at Mission Park Funeral Chapels North. The Leon Valley and Windcrest Fire Departments with many other departments participating,
will honor Eric with a firefighter’s funeral. Services will be at the Windcrest Methodist Church, Windcrest, TX at 10:00
a.m. on Saturday, April 1, 2006. Burial will be at Mission Park Retama Cemetery in Selma, TX. In lieu of flowers, we
will request donations to the Eric Dopp Memorial firefighters fund.
We continue to thank you for all the supportive and thoughtful prayers,
e-mails, and cards. We ask you to keep our children and other family members in your prayers. We pray for our
friends and Eric's many friends, that they will reflect not on Eric's death but rather on a celebration of his life.
We pray also for our strength, that we may focus more on Eric's life and less on our loss.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Tuesday, March 28, 2006 9:29 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Monday
Dear Friends and Family,
Monday was a strange "good day/bad day" experience. When I first awoke,
I had a sense of relief that I had awakened from a terrible nightmare about Eric dying, then reality crashed on me as I realized
the nightmare continues. I cried and prayed that God would make this all a dream that would go away.
My extreme depression lasted about half an hour as I dragged myself through
the morning ritual of preparing coffee and getting ready for the day. Diana felt so bad that she took another sick leave
day.
Later in the morning, we went shopping for clothes since neither of us had clothing
suitable for a funeral. While we were shopping for my suit, our son Brian called to tell us he arrived safely in Kansas
City, Missouri. He is there through Friday meeting with several county governments. It is part
of the completion of his major contract there. MARC, the agency that contracted with him, was very understanding
of the situation and allowed him an extra week to complete his work.
While on the phone, he casually mentioned that Louisville awarded him a major
contract to install, develop and train the combined city and county government on the WEB-EOC emergency management software.
He and Renate worked so hard and we sweated with them as they prepared their proposal.
I felt ecstatic with joy for them, without a doubt the happiest I felt since
the news of Eric's accident. We discussed what a tremendous boost this will give to his company. One of his major
goals was to expand his business outside Texas this year. He now has active business in Texas, Missouri, and Kentucky.
On a more personal level, this contract means a lot to both Brian and Renate
because Renate's mother and sister live in Louisville!
Although Monday was a grey, gloomy, rainy day (we so desperately need the rain),
Brian's news relieved my extreme depression and brightened the day for us. After completing the purchase of my suit,
we decided another road trip was in order.
We decided to head west to the little town of Fredericksburg about eighty miles
from here. A gentle, misty rain fell during the entire trip. We both love traveling in that kind of weather
so it was a perfect trip in that respect. There were few wild flowers. Our route was through the Hill Country
and it will be another week before the flowers really bloom up there.
We ate lunch at the Auslander restaurant in Fredericksburg because Diana loves
the German-style chicken and dumplings. It is her comfort food and she enjoyed it. I indulged in a Texas-style
chicken fried steak. As is usual these days with most food, it did not taste as good as it should.
I noticed that we both experienced recurring bouts of sadness and depression
on the trip. For me, part of it was remembering our many trips to Fredericksburg with our children when they were young.
Still, the trip was enjoyable. We returned by way of Johnson City.
In the afternoon and evening, Diana went through our old photos to select pictures
for a slide show memorial of Eric that the church wants to show during the funeral ceremony. I was unable to help because
of my emotional state. I truly believe that women are stronger than men in these kinds of circumstances.
In the evening, Diana and I talked a little about Eric and our feelings.
It is the first time in many days that I could do so without my feelings preventing me from talking or even listening.
Diana hugged me and said she loves me so much. That pretty much undid me. I am so fortunate to have the love of
this beautiful, strong woman. I thank God every day for putting Diana in my life.
I wanted to end this update on a positive and humorous note. I decided
earlier in the day that I must try to recover my sense of humor. I firmly believe that laughing has great healing power.
Thanks for your prayers and thoughtfulness. I have a feeling we will need
that for some time to come.
Following is a story I wrote a few years ago for my genealogy web site.
Reading it always makes me smile. Eric always loved the story.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
How My Wife Proposed To Me
By David Dopp
I first met my wife-to-be in a small café in the small West Texas town of Andrews
two weeks before Christmas 1969. I was driving a cattle truck, returning from
Colorado to El Paso to pick up another load. She worked in her parent’s
Wagon Wheel café on the weekends and attended college in Lubbock, Texas during the week.
The normal return route from Colorado to El Paso for my company was through
New Mexico not West Texas. When I checked my permit book before starting, I noticed
the truck’s New Mexico permit was expired. (Nearly all states require commercial,
inter-state trucking companies to obtain operating and fuel purchase permits. That’s
in addition to the fuel taxes and miles driven or ton-mile taxes paid!) My boss
told me to take the long route through Texas to get back to El Paso.
For those who have never driven in West Texas, the country is barren. Beautiful, but barren. There can be from 30 to 100 miles between
towns. Most towns are tiny and most roll up the sidewalks before sundown!
I was doing fine until about 50 miles south of Lubbock. I started getting sleepy and had no coffee. I had found no
cafés or restaurants open. When I reached the Andrews city limits, around 8:30
p.m., I decided I would run to the other side of town and pull over for a nap. As
I got to the south side of Andrews, I noticed the lights of the Wagon Wheel café and it was still open.
Earlier in the day, Diana had decided not to go to work. She got a call from the café manager early in the afternoon asking her to please come in. A waitress, supposed to work the afternoon shift, had called in sick.
Diana agreed to go in and arrived around 4:30 p.m. She didn’t even
notice when I pulled into the parking lot later in the evening.
I parked my rig and ambled towards the front door. I figured I’d drink a couple of cups of coffee, fill my thermos and make another 150 mile towards
El Paso. I opened the door, walked in and saw Diana.
Folks, it was as if someone had hit me
in the head with a 2x4! I was immediately, hopelessly in love. I knew, through whatever magic there was there that night, that I had met the one woman in the world for
me.
My two cups of coffee turned into a steak dinner, a pot-and-a-half of coffee
and three hours of conversation (in between customers.) When I left, as the restaurant
closed, I had Diana’s name and phone number in Lubbock. I did not make
it to El Paso until the following afternoon. I only made another 50 miles before
I had to stop and sleep.
A few days later while waiting to unload my truck in Los Angeles, I called Diana
in Lubbock. When she answered I told her my name and she replied, “Dave
who?”
Obviously, I didn’t make as great
an impact on her as she on me! After a little prompting on my part, she finally
recalled the Saturday night at the café. More importantly, she agreed to a date,
if I ever got to Lubbock.
As luck would have it, my return trip from Los Angeles took me back to El Paso. I asked for a week off, bought a car, and drove to Lubbock. Why did I buy a car? At the time, I was working seven days
a week. What little time off I had was usually spent laying over in some town
out of state waiting for a return load. Previously, I had no need for a car.
I called Diana and she agreed to meet the next night for dinner and a movie. I picked her up around 5:00, we went to dinner and I had her home again by ten o’clock
(her rules.) During the date, we talked and talked and talked. Never did make it to the movie. She agreed to another date
the next night. Same hours … same scenario!
Driving back to El Paso, I couldn’t imagine spending two or three weeks
without seeing her again. I stopped in Andrews for lunch. When I started my car, the engine caught fire. The car burned
before the fire department got there to put it out. I figured it was a sign from
God! I called my boss in El Paso, explained the situation and he agreed to let
me quit without notice.
I took a job as a roughneck in the oil
patch in Andrews and later driving an oil and water tank truck for a well-servicing company.
Diana was both surprised and happy to find me living in Andrews when she came home that first weekend. For the next six months, we spent almost every waking moment talking (when she was in town and we weren’t
working.)
We talked of everything. I was
fascinated with her and she with me. One evening, about three months after I
moved to Andrews, we sat in her living room talking from sundown to sunup. Her
father was not pleased, to say the least! He came in about daybreak and told
me he thought it was about time for me to go home. (You will find a picture of
her father on the “Family Photos” page. He was a tough hombre.)http://dopp_families.tripod.com/doppfam/id2.html
I didn’t know it at the time, but he had been telling Diana it was a mistake
to get involved with a trucker. He had been a trucker and knew what they were
like! Fortunately, Diana and I had already become best friends.
A few days after the all night talk marathon,
he asked what my intentions were with his daughter. I told him I intended to
marry her. For a moment, I thought he was going to attack me! Finally, he turned, without saying a word, and walked away. (Whew!)
I figured I better start talking with Diana about marriage. That evening, I said to her, “Diana, will you marry me?”
She replied, “No. Let’s
just be friends.”
I heard the same answer three or four
more times over the next few months. We continued as best friends. The talk marathons also continued. We continued to remain
best friends (although I was falling deeper in love!)
In 1970, Diana graduated from Texas Tech University. She took a job in Arlington, Texas, a suburb of Dallas, as a speech therapist in the Arlington school system.
During the six months or so I stayed
in Andrews, before Diana graduated, I suffered greatly from “road fever.”
For those who don’t know truckers, road fever is a condition suffered by long haul truckers anytime they are
away from driving for more than a couple of days. The typical symptom is an overwhelming
desire to crawl into the cab of a truck and drive a thousand miles or more. It
is an addiction worse than heroin. It took me more than fifteen years to get
over it (mostly.) I still (32 years later) suffer attacks of road fever every
few months.
My bouts of road fever eventually became so strong that even my growing feelings
for Diana couldn’t keep me off the road. I went back to driving cross-country,
based out of San Antonio. The company I chose gave me an opportunity to travel
through Arlington every few weeks to see Diana.
I was working long hours again. I
had to so that I could afford the phone bills! I called her almost every evening
and we would talk for a half hour or more. Every few weeks, I asked her to marry
me. Every few weeks she said no.
One of our more memorable dates occurred in October 1971.
My truck broke down in Portland, Oregon.
The mechanic estimated a week to repair the engine, so I flew the next day from Portland to Dallas. Diana and I went out on two dates and I flew back to Portland. It
was normal for me. She thought I was being a spendthrift. I was just in love!
It was during those two days that she finally discouraged me. On the second night, I once again asked her to marry me. She
refused, as usual, but added, “If you really want to get married, why don’t you find someone else?”
I was crushed! I finally realized
that nothing I could do would convince her to marry me. I thought about making
a clean break with the relationship, but she was still my best friend. I realized
I valued her friendship above all else.
I continued calling, although not as
often. We continued dating when I could get into town, although I made no special
effort to get to town. I still asked her to marry me, from time to time, but
not seriously. She always suggested I find someone else to marry. I began dating other women for the first time in a couple of years
I met one particular woman in Aberdeen, South Dakota in the spring of 1972. She had a personality much like Diana and was nearly as interesting to talk with. We dated several times, and I had received clear signals that she had an interest
in marriage.
I left Aberdeen one day heading to Denver, Colorado. When I got there, the dispatcher gave me a “hot” load headed East. (A hot load was one due for delivery the day before I picked it up!)
Time was pressing, but I just could not wait to tell my best friend about my girl friend.
I called Diana and we talked for a few minutes.
I don’t remember what we talked about, but it didn’t matter. Anything
we talked about was pleasant and fun.
Finally, I said to her, “You know
how you said I should find someone else to marry? Well, I think I have.”
She replied, “Oh!?”
From that moment, I carried on a “one-eared” conversation. I talked, but the only feedback I got was, “Uh” and “Um.”
I knew she seemed distracted, but the
dispatcher was knocking on the window, telling me I had to get on the road. I
told Diana I would call her back later; that I had to run. She barely said goodbye
and we hung up.
I was driving hard, trying to make up lost time on the delivery, so I didn’t
stop to call her back right away. I planned to call her after I delivered the
load in Minneapolis. As I came to the last tollbooth on the Illinois Turnpike,
the toll taker asked me if my name was Dave Dopp.
Somewhat surprised, I answered, “Yes.”
He told me the dispatcher had alerted the highway patrol in three states and
all the toll takers to be on the look out for me. There was an important message
for me at the dispatch office.
My first thought was something terrible had happened to someone in my family. I drove to the next truck stop and quickly placed a call to the dispatch office. (This was long before the days of cell phones and instant communication!) The dispatcher told me some woman named Diana had called there several times … that it was urgent
that I call her.
I, of course, was concerned that something had happened to her or someone in
HER family. I called her and said, “Diana, what is wrong?”
She replied, in a teary voice, “I don’t want you to marry her. I want you to marry me!”
I said, “Oh!?”
And that is the story of how my wife proposed to me.
We married November 23rd,
1972. I started college in January 1973 and finished five years later with a
BBA in accounting. I have had the great good fortune of being married to my best
friend for 30 years (nearly) and we still can talk all night!
By the way, her father finally accepted our marriage after our first son was
born.
***
Sent: Tuesday, March 28, 2006 9:40 AM
Subject: Eric Update Additional - Monday
Dear Friends and Family,
I planned to include this in Monday's update but decided it fit better as a
stand alone item.
I received an e-mail from a supporter who wrote, "I prayed for a miracle
for all of you but I guess that wasn't in the cards this time." As I read the line, I began thinking there might
be many others who feel the same. I thought it might help to share my response to her.
Dear Jeanne,
We received many miracles during this trying time. It was a miracle that
Eric made it to the hospital before dying. It was a miracle that the doctors were able to keep him alive long enough
to give him a chance. It was a miracle that we met so many, many friends of Eric. It was a miracle that we learned
so much that was so good about our son during this trying three weeks. It was a miracle that so many people came to
us saying, "Eric changed my life." It was a miracle that several people came to us and said, "Eric saved my life."
It is a miracle that we learned just how full was our son's life, how many friends he had outside our family, and how
happy was his life. It is a miracle that so many people; friends, acquaintances, strangers, cared enough about Eric
and us to pray for him and us and to show their compassion.
It is a joy and a blessing to know that "brotherhood" is not just a word.
Firefighters from all over joined us in our grief. Firefighters from all over showed us their care, concern, and compassion.
The brotherhood of firefighters is a real and powerful force. We will never forget all they have done for us.
We will never forget and we will always search for ways to repay everyone.
As our chaplain told us, "God always answers prayer ... sometimes not the way
we want. Eric rose on the other side healed and whole." We cling to that thought with thankfulness. We know
we will greet Eric again someday and enjoy his exuberant zest for life.
Sincerely,
Dave Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Wednesday, March 29, 2006 9:27 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Tuesday
Dear Friends and Family,
Tuesday was another "up and down" day. I slept very well for the first
time since the accident ... and did so without the aid of sleeping pills. I think I was watching a History Channel documentary
when I went to sleep after eight o'clock. I awoke around 7:00 in the morning.
I again had the feeling of waking from a nightmare only to realize that the
nightmare is all too real. After a few cups of coffee, writing Monday's update seemed to lighten my mood. I
wanted to go for a walk but the rain dissuaded me. I did not fear melting, I just thought the gloominess of the
day would make the walk less than enjoyable.
I chose instead to read a book. It is the first serious reading for me
since the accident and helped distract me from my grief for a few hours.
It interests me, in a macabre way, how I classify things as "before the accident"
and "since the accident". My first conversation with Diana, my first talk with Brian, my first good night of sleep,
my first serious reading, our first road trip, all "since the accident". I pray for the day when these ordinary incidents
no longer carry the phrase "since the accident". So far, I have not used the phrase "since Eric died". I suspect
I use the accident to shield myself from the reality of his death.
These past few weeks and particularly these past few days found me questioning
my faith and my God. I am not a religious fanatic, though I was at one time when my faith was weaker and fanaticism
strengthened me. I do not rely on preachers or evangelists to "fire me up with fervor for the Lord", though I did at
one time when my faith was weaker and fiery preachers strengthened me.
Rather, my faith before the accident (that phrase again) derived from studying
the bible, reading the historical context surrounding it, and contemplating what is the real message of God and what is God's
will. I never believed that all things are preordained. I always believed we come into this world with free-will.
Since the accident, I find myself searching for God's meaning in this unbearable
pain we suffer. I questioned why God allowed this to happen to me, to my family, to Eric's friends. If God is
a loving God, why did He allow this tragedy to happen?
I prayed often for acceptance of "God's will" and peace in my heart. I
finally reached the point where I could pray, "Thy will be done."
After Eric died, I found my mind again questioning the meaning of all this.
Many people said to us, "It was God's will." or "God called Eric home." I began asking myself what kind of God would
do this to us, to such a wonderful young man. Why would God choose to hurt us in such a horrible, horrible way?
As I thought on my faith, I thought about God's will. I began to realize
that our interpretation of "God's will" is simply our feeble effort to accept
the unacceptable, comprehend the incomprehensible. Whenever anything happens that we can't explain or have trouble understanding,
it is often so easy to just put it back to God. It is God's will. Yet, in a tragedy like this, "God's
will" is an unacceptable explanation.
When we have young children, we often impose our will on theirs. We stop
them from heedlessly running into a street. We stop them from poking forks into an electrical outlet. We set rules
for their behavior and punish them for violations of those rules. We teach them that they are responsible for their
actions. Most importantly, we love them.
We love them when they are good, we love them when they are naughty. We
love them when they hug us, we love them when they reject us. We love them when they are with us, we love them when
they are away. We love them unconditionally.
When they grow up and become adults, we give them freedom. We pray that
we taught them responsibility, we pray that they learned to make good decisions, for we know we can no longer make decisions
for them. They are free.
As good parents, we will offer advice, but they make their decisions and they
live with the consequences. When they stumble and hurt, we welcome them home with open arms and love. We can not
fix their problems, but we can love them. We may hurt with them, but we nevertheless love them.
As I contemplate this tragedy and God's role in it, I came to realize that God
did not do this to us, Eric did this to us. When Eric came to me at age sixteen and wanted a motorcycle, I refused.
I explained the dangers of driving in San Antonio traffic and the great risk of injury or death.
When he was an adult and talked of buying a motorcycle, I explained again why
I thought it was not a good idea. I asked him to think of the many times he had to pick up the broken bodies of other
riders.
Despite that, a year later he chose to buy his first motorcycle. I encouraged
him to take classes in motorcycle safety. He did. I encouraged him to wear protective clothing at all times.
He did. I encouraged him to get the best possible helmet. He did. Less than a year later, he died.
Was it God's will? I do not think so. If God controls everything
that happens to us, all our actions, we become nothing more than irresponsible children who need a dictating parent to survive.
No, God grants us freedom, just as we grant freedom to our children when they grow up. God will advise us and guide
us, but we make the choices. We and our families share the enjoyment or the suffering resulting from those choices.
I believe God welcomed Eric with open arms. I do not believe God wanted
Eric so soon. This was not God's will, this was Eric's will. I do not believe God wants us to suffer as we do.
I believe God suffers just as we do when His children make poor decisions.
I believe suffering is just as much a part of human nature as joy. For
after all, how could we know the extent of joy in our lives with no pain for comparison?
Eric was a risk-taker. Like all of us when we were young, Eric believed
he was "nine foot tall and bullet proof." Tragically, he did not live long enough to learn otherwise.
As we approach the day of visitation and the funeral, I feel trepidation in
my heart. I fear the pain I know I will suffer. I pray for the strength to control my emotions and to be strong
for my family. I fear the finality of the burial. I fear the closing of this chapter in our lives and the opening
of a new chapter.
The funeral home posted Eric's obituary at http://www.missionparks.com/index2.shtml. There is a change not yet reflected there. The reception luncheon after
the cemetery ceremony will be at the Windcrest fire station. There was a timing conflict at the church, so the fire
department decided to host it in the fire bay. As it happens, that choice pleases me more because Eric spent so much
time there.
The Leon Valley fire department established a memorial fund for Eric at Security
Service Federal Credit Union. Because we already took care of the flowers for the funeral, we would request donations
to the fund rather than flowers.
Those wishing to make a deposit personally may go to any Security Service branch
office. Tell them the deposit is for the Memorial Fund for Firefighter Eric Dopp. You will not need an account
number.
Those wishing to mail a donation may send it to:
Security Service Federal Credit Union
PO Box 691530
San Antonio, TX 78269-1510
or
Leon Valley Fire Department
6400 El Verde Road
Leon Valley, TX 78238
Make your check out to: In memory of Eric
Dopp. Again, you will not need an account number.
We anticipate using most or all of the fund to help offset Eric's medical
expenses.
Again, we thank all of you who continue praying for us and supporting us in
this crisis. We especially thank those who experienced what we experience. Your comments that what we feel, you
felt, and that life does get better helps give us the strength to make it from day to day.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
Dave Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Thursday, March 30, 2006 9:21 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Wednesday
Dear Friends and Family,
Wednesday was a "normal" day bracketed by sorrow in the morning and evening.
It was a strange feeling day.
The morning began with sadness and tears for both of us. We soon decided
it was best to leave the house for a while. Diana wanted to go to Floresville, a small town about thirty miles
southeast of town. I decided to go by way of LaVernia another small town southeast.
We talked very little on the trip out. When we arrived in LaVernia, we
decide to eat lunch. We passed up several Mexican cafes and finally stopped at a new (to us) steakhouse. What
a serendipitous find! We now have a new favorite steakhouse. Both the food and service were excellent.
We left LaVernia and followed some back roads neither of us had ever before
traveled. Roads never before traveled. The symbolism does not escape me. We began to talk, not about Eric
or our great sorrow, but about everything else.
In an hour or so of talking, we solved all the world's problems including the
Middle East mess. It was a fun and enjoyable conversation like so many we had in the past. We laughed and joked
about our "solutions" and talked about how proud we are of Brian and Renate. It was a totally normal, for us, conversation.
Our grief receded to barely noticeable levels.
Diana mentioned that she wished she was retired so we could travel full-time.
She talked several times after the accident about retiring this year. Fortunately, we decided early on not
to make major decisions for at least six months. Diana totally loves her work as a speech therapist and I suspect, as
time distances us from this tragedy, will want to continue on as long as she can.
We both felt strengthened and refreshed by the talking. It was fun and
a relief to feel normal again, if only for a few brief hours. We thoroughly enjoyed seeing new country. We thoroughly
enjoyed each other's company.
After returning home, as the evening progressed, Eric again dominated our thoughts.
I fear I hurt Diana's feelings because she wanted to talk about Eric and I could not face it just then. I gave her a
hug and a kiss which were inadequate but all I could do at the time. I know I will have to face my own sadness soon
so she has a way to vent and share with me.
It is unfortunate that she feels most like talking about Eric in the evenings.
Evenings and late night are the very worst for me. We plan to join a support group and possibly seek grief counseling
soon.
I received a call from my son in Georgia letting me know that all three of them
and their families will be here on Thursday. Our neighbors have donated bedrooms for all our family coming into town.
The Windcrest Fire Department offered the guest room at the bunk house. Because they have bunk beds, we will put
our four nephews there. I'm sure they will hear a lot of stories about Eric from the other firefighters.
The city of Windcrest has the flag flying at half-staff in honor of Eric.
It brings tears to my eyes each time I see it, but I am so proud that Eric was so well-respected. I am so fiercely proud
of all Eric accomplished in his short life.
Thursday is my birthday and I dread its arrival. There will be no celebration
this year. It will be the first since the accident without Eric's atrocious jokes about getting old and bald and suffering
from "old timer's disease". We plan to defer any celebration until Diana's birthday in May.
Thank you to all who keep us in your thoughts. Your prayers and concern
help us beyond measure. We want to especially thank Reverend Ray Davis for handling all the funeral service minutia
for us. His comfort during the time at the hospital meant a lot to us. His continuing concern and comfort helps
strengthen us.
To everyone who posted messages at Eric's message board and in the on-line guest
book maintained by Mission Park at his obituary site, we thank you for the prayers, concern, and good memories you left about
Eric.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Friday, March 31, 2006 10:00 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Thursday
Dear Friends and Family,
Thursday was my birthday, the first since the accident and the first since Eric's
death. For some reason, the reality of his passing hit me as Diana and I returned from the bank in the morning.
I pulled over to the side of the street and wept quietly.
My son is gone and oh how I miss him.
My three children from Georgia, their spouses and children arrived Thursday
morning. They drove in a convoy of three vehicles through the night. All were tired when they arrived. We
settled them in the rooms they will use during their time here. My three nephews will stay in the guest room at the
fire station. The rest are staying with friends here except my daughter and her husband who will stay with us.
Because Chinese food is their first or second choice, we took them to the Golden
Phoenix buffet for dinner.
We sat and talked for several hours. We shared stories about the family
and Eric and laughed a lot at the good or funny memories. The laughter and fellowship gradually lifted my gloomy feeling
and I felt better for it.
My granddaughter brought her son who is only a few months old. It was
good to have a baby in the house again. Surprisingly, his crying did not bother me as much as I thought it might.
As I watch Diana holding and rocking the baby, it reminded me of her doing that with Eric. The memory came without the
sadness that so often accompanies my memories of him. Rather, I felt the strength of my love for Diana.
I took a sleeping pill again to try to get some rest. As I write this
(Friday morning) I feel very tired despite sleeping six hours. The ordeal facing us, the visitation time tonight and
the funeral tomorrow, weighs heavily on my spirit. I pray for the strength top get through it.
I know many people have or will experience a similar tragedy, yet I still feel
that ours is unique. I long for the day when I can turn from this inward focus on me and my feelings to again have deep
concern for others.
We appreciate the many prayers, thoughts, cards, and letters coming
our way.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Saturday, April 01, 2006 6:51 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Friday
Dear Friends and Family,
Friday was both worse and better than I expected. I awoke Friday morning
with a feeling of dread. I dreaded the coming trial of the visitation time at the funeral home. I dreaded facing
another day without Eric. I dreaded facing the reality of Eric's death.
Despite getting six hours of sleep, my body ached all over and I felt feverish.
I don't know if the symptoms are from weariness or if I have the beginnings of an illness. I took a couple of aspirin
and laid down around 9:00 a.m. I slept until 12:30 or 1:00 p.m. and awoke feeling a little better.
Diana, her sister, and the other women went shopping. This is good for
Diana because shopping is one of her relaxation methods. I spent much of the early afternoon just sitting at the picnic
table out back, listening to the birds, remembering Eric, and thinking.
Later in the afternoon Diana and I prepared to go to the funeral home.
My dread increased as the hour to leave approached. It felt like a physical knot in my stomach. I gathered
my three other children and led them across town to the funeral home. Brian and Renate left directly from their
office to meet us there.
The long walk down the hallway to the viewing chapel was an ordeal. As
I entered the chapel, tears filled my eyes when I saw the opened casket. As I stood, gazing at the body that was my
son, I could feel my heart and soul slumping in agony.
For about fifteen minutes or so, the pain was so bad that I did not think I
could go on with life. As I sat, slumped in a pew with tears filling my eyes, the thought came to me that this is not
the end of the world.
I remembered the many times I told my children that if you act a certain way,
you will become that way. If you portray a posture of weakness, you will be weak. If you portray a posture of
strength, you will be strong. "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."
If my advice to my children was good for them, it must be good for me.
I stood straight, held my head up, and decided I would portray to the world what I wanted myself to be. In a short time,
I began feeling better. The hopelessness receded, though the grief remained. No matter how beaten down I feel,
I knew I could command the resources I needed to make it through this very dark chapter in our lives.
I realized that the body lying in that coffin was not Eric. It is just
the shell he used while he was here. As one of the firefighters said in a comment on his message board, "Eric is now a
member of God's Fire Department." I take comfort from knowing he is at peace with the Lord.
As we greeted the visitors during the interminable hours of visitation, the
thought occurred to me that this moment truly marked the end of Eric's short but fulfilling life. Many of the visitors
share our grief over the loss of this young man. Many shared their thoughts of what Eric meant to them. Some
came just to try to comfort us.
The arrival of our oldest and dearest friends, Joyce and Charles Talbott, as
it often does, lifted my spirits and made the day a little brighter. We talked very little, shared a few hugs and tears,
yet it was the high point of the day for me.
After visitation, we returned home. Brian and Renate invited everyone
to go out to a Whataburger. Everyone agreed but I opted to stay home and go to sleep. I still have no real appetite.
My fear and dread of the funeral ceremony on Saturday receded to manageable
levels. I know Reverend Davis plans to make it a celebration of Eric's life. Eric never bragged about his life.
On Saturday, many others will brag for him.
We remain so thankful for the many prayers and comforting thoughts for us.
We appreciate the emotional support of the brotherhood of firefighters and EMTs. You all help us make it through this
impossible time in our lives.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Sunday, April 02, 2006 8:47 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Final Sat
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric's funeral was truly a celebration of his life. It was a difficult
time for us yet a memory that will help comfort us in the future. Several speakers stood to tell us what Eric meant
to them. Reverend Davis' message on "Unfinished Business" brought comfort to us.
This was the first firefighter's funeral I witnessed. Words can not begin
to describe how impressive was the display. About two hundred firefighters, medics, and police officers from many cities
in Bexar County and as far away as the cities of Lockhart, Texas and Hondo, Texas attended the service. The San
Antonio Fire Department Honor Guard attended the casket. Four members of the Leon Valley department and four members,
including his brother Brian, from the Windcrest Department carried the casket from the church.
The procession from the church to the cemetery was astounding to us. San
Antonio provided their antique fire truck to bear Eric's body to the cemetery. Members of the Honor Guard stood by the
casket as it traveled to the cemetery. There were thirty-seven fire engines, ambulances, and police cars leading
the procession, all with lights flashing. San Antonio PD provided four motorcycle escort officers. There were
at least ten, that I counted, fire engines, ambulances, and police cars staged at various spots along the funeral
procession route. Tears came to my eyes as I watched them salute a fallen brother.
The funeral procession was an estimated one-and-one-half miles in length.
San Antonio is a city not noted for honoring funeral processions. Yet, virtually every car on the streets stopped and
pulled to the side of the road as the procession approached and passed. Many drivers exited their vehicles and stood
with their hand over their heart as we passed. We cried again.
One incident happened during the procession that would have had Eric chortling
in glee. A driver exiting the freeway paralleling the procession route decided to cut into the line between two fire
engines. One of the police escorts pulled the driver over and issued a ticket. Eric would have loved it.
One of his pet peeves was the jerks who refuse to yield to an emergency vehicle.
As a side note, if you ever find yourself at a red light with an ambulance or
fire truck behind you with lights flashing and siren blowing, carefully check the oncoming traffic and move out of the way
as soon as you can. The few seconds saved may save the life of another person.
At the cemetery, the Leon Valley and Windcrest fire department ladder trucks
created an arched entry by raising and crossing their ladders. It was one of the most impressive scenes I ever witnessed.
It took more than ten minutes for all the equipment and cars to enter the cemetery.
The fire engines, chief cars, ambulances, and police cars parked around Eric's
grave site. The firefighters, medics, and police officers stood in ranks around three sides of the grave. Reverend
Davis said a prayer and committed Eric's body to the grave. AirLife performed a helicopter flyover in honor of
Eric. Tom Winn, the Windcrest Chief, announced to us that Windcrest was retiring Eric's badge number in honor of his
service to the community and the department.
The Bexar County dispatch office issued a "last call" for Windcrest Lieutenant
Eric Dopp. Dozens of pagers sounded as Dispatch dropped tones. Three times the dispatcher called for Eric.
Chills ran up and down my spine as the tears flowed. Then the Leon Valley dispatcher dropped tones for Eric. The
dispatcher released Eric from duty to return home.
Tears came again as the haunting sound of the bagpipes playing "Amazing
Grace" drifted over the cemetery followed by the sadness of taps on the bugle.
I felt so humbled by the expression of honor for Eric.
We returned to the Windcrest Fire Station for a reception luncheon in Eric's
honor. Many people told us again how much Eric meant to them and how much they would miss him.
Jerry Doyle, the Fire Chief from Lockhart, presented us with Eric's helmet from
their station. (Eric worked as a reserve firefighter at Lockhart. He filled in when a regular crewmember needed
time off.) He also presented us with a life-saving pin for Eric. The last call Eric worked for Lockhart,
he participated in saving the life of an accident victim.
This is the final daily Eric Update. Future updates, if I write more,
will focus on how we deal with our grief and healing. With the completion of Eric's funeral, the time has come to reduce
our extreme focus on Eric. The time has come to put our chattered lives together again. The time has come for
the healing to begin. The time has come to begin to live anew. The time has come to look to the future again.
This does not mean we forget Eric or the extreme stress we suffered and continue
to suffer. Eric was, is, and will be always a part of our lives. We know difficult times still lay before us.
Eric's birthday will always trouble me. Christmas will be a little less joyous without Eric's child-like anticipation.
Every time we hear a siren, our hearts will lift a little in anticipation of seeing Eric driving with that determined look
on his precious face.
Every time we see a firefighter or medic our hearts will lift with our fierce
pride in Eric's devotion to his career. We lost our firefighter but we have not lost our firefighter family. We
take comfort knowing that our small part of the world is a better place because of Eric's short presence in it.
We also take comfort in knowing that Eric rests in peace with God. We
pray that God's love will comfort us and help us heal.
We can not begin to tell you how much your prayers, support, and concern
comforted us during this trying time. Writing these updates was a good choice for me as a way to deal with my emotional
extremes. I appreciate the many cards, letters, and e-mails from others who suffered as we do assuring us that
what we felt was normal.
Many of you suggested I should compile this tragic journey into a book.
I have no clue how to do that. A book, however, is an idea that intrigues me as a way to honor the life of my son.
It is a project I may tackle some time in the future. If not for the public, then certainly for our family and future
generations.
The file attached is the story about Eric that appeared in the San Antonio Express-News
on Saturday.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Monday, April 03, 2006 8:22 AM
Subject: Dopp Family Update - Sunday
Dear Friends and Family,
Sunday was a day of decompression for us. It was a good day and it was
a bad day.
The finality of the funeral yesterday marked the end, we think, of the extreme
stress we suffered for the past month. We still hurt and we grieve terribly but somehow our burden feels lighter at
the moment.
My eldest son, Dave, and his wife had to suddenly return to Georgia yesterday
after the funeral. Dave is in the "fortunate" position of having a business that owns him. My other two children
from Georgia and their families will leave to return home on Monday. They are a comfort to us.
We returned to the cemetery Sunday morning to retrieve a potted plant that we
forgot to take Saturday. We do not want to leave it there to die. I was not sure I could handle the visit but
I did not want Diana to go alone. I am so glad we went.
Diana and I spent perhaps a half hour just sitting near Eric's grave and talking;
about the funeral, about Eric, about us. It was so very peaceful there with a gentle breeze blowing and the sounds of
the birds happily going about their mysterious business. We returned home feeling somehow refreshed.
We took our family, excluding Renate, to lunch at our new favorite steakhouse,
The Texas Steak Co., in La Vernia. Renate is not feeling well but insisted that Brian come with us. I thoroughly
confused them returning from the restaurant. Because I do not feel like dealing with freeway traffic, I led them down
the back roads. On the return, I chose a different route.
During the meal, which was excellent, feelings of sadness and longing for Eric
nearly overwhelmed me. He would have loved that restaurant and its atmosphere. Although I did not finish my meal,
it was the first good one in a few days.
Our feelings of depression increased as the afternoon and evening progressed.
Dan Reese brought over the CD slide show of Eric growing up. The church used this slideshow during the fifteen
minutes before the funeral. It will take some time, I fear, before I will have the strength to review it or the video
tape of the funeral service made by the church.
We also received a number of photos taken from one of the emergency vehicles
during the funeral procession. I scanned the pictures so my kids could take CD copies back to Georgia. It was
a difficult task but one that I needed to complete.
For those who never witnessed a firefighter's funeral, a friend took some pictures
from the middle of the procession of fire and EMS vehicles. He posted the pictures on the Internet at: http://photos.templin.org/gallery/doppfun.
Pictures 1978, 1981, 1982, and 1984 show various departments that staged equipment
along the procession route. These departments had to keep equipment in their response areas in case of emergencies,
but moved the equipment from their fire stations to the route. Picture 1835 shows the crossed ladders raised by the
Windcrest and Leon Valley departments at the entrance to the cemetery. Picture 1868 shows the San Antonio Honor Guard
transporting Eric's casket on their antique ceremonial fire truck.
During the evening, Diana cried from her aching pain and loss. I could
only hold her in my arms. I feel so helpless at times. Diana plans to return to work on Tuesday. Fortunately,
she has plenty of sick leave days so if she can not yet handle work, she will return home.
I prayed for the first time yesterday that God would grant her the peace and
comfort that I can not. I can bear my pain but oh how I want to take hers from her.
We both feel extremely tired. Certainly from the stress, but me particularly
because of the restless and inadequate sleep. Even the sleeping pills do not let me get a full night of rest. Loss
of appetite continues to plague me. I lost sixteen pounds in the past month. I seem able to stomach a good
meal every few days, mainly because Diana insists. She keeps me loaded with vitamins which is a good thing.
We plan to start grief counseling on Thursday, I believe. I will probably
not write another update until after that meeting. We continue praying for our family and ourselves. We thank
all of you for your support during this time.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
|
