Sent: Sunday, March 05, 2006 3:33 AM
Subject: Eric Update Saturday
Dear Friends and Family,
Last night about 9:00p.m. our son Eric was severely injured in a motorcycle
accident while on his way home from work. He is in the Intensive Care Unit at Brook Army Medical Center in San Antonio.
He is in very critical condition with severe head and facial injuries.
He is in a coma and the neurosurgeon does not yet know the extent of
any permanent brain damage. At this time, we do know he suffered bruising and some bleeding in his brain. They
performed a tracheotomy and have him on a ventilator.
According to the neurosurgeon, he has no signs of brain swelling at this
time but the next five days are critical and things are touch and go for his survival. We are all praying very hard
for his survival.
We ask all of you so inclined to please keep Eric in your prayers.
Fortunately, he was using all the correct gear including a wrap-around
helmet. His other injuries are relatively minor and include a broken arm and a scrape on his knee and elbow. The
ER trauma doctor said the helmet saved him long enough to get him to the ER.
I will try to provide updates on his progress as I can.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Sunday, March 05, 2006 11:37 PM
Subject: Eric Update - Sunday
We just got in from the hospital. The day began on a positive note,
then turned horrible, but ended on a measure of hope.
The doctors raised Eric's condition to critical but stable around 4a.m.
We were so relieved, but by nine a.m. he was deteriorating rapidly. His condition changed to very critical and
we were advised that it would be a good time to call in out of town family.
The doctors and nurses worked frantically to try to stabilize him so
they could move him for another CT scan of his brain. Fortunately, his brother and sister-in-law, Diana and I and several
of his friends were able to spend some time with him during this frightening episode.
By around 4p.m., they had him stable enough to move to the CT scanner.
At 5:30p.m. his neurosurgeon called us into a conference about his condition. Eric was in very bad shape due to rapid
swelling of his brain. The neurosurgeon explained that the swelling was destabilizing him and causing the deterioration
of his condition.
He recommended a very aggressive approach to treating the swelling.
We approved his treatment plan which begins with the removal of the right side of Eric's skull to allow the brain to expand
outside. We were told this procedure had a 50/50 chance of success. They began prepping him immediately and took
him to surgery just before 7:00 p.m.
They brought him back shortly after 9:00 p.m. The doctor said it
was a success. The brain had swelled into the new opening and relieved the pressure. By 10:30 his ICU nurse
said he was critical but stable again and his blood chemistry and vital signs were much improved.
His doctor said we were just at the beginning of a long road for the
next several days. He said Eric's condition will probably go up and down like a yo-yo. Their entire concern at
this point is to keep him alive until the swelling becomes manageable. He said from this point forward, the treatments
will become riskier but necessary. His prognosis remains poor, but we (and many, many other people) are praying for
a miracle.
I must say I am so impressed with BAMC. This is the hospital that
treats all the serious burn and head trauma patients coming from Iraq. Eric is reaping the benefits of what the doctors
have learned about treating serious head injuries.
The hospital has assigned one nurse each shift whose only patient is
Eric. The nurse stays in Eric's room constantly monitoring and adjusting all the medicine and fluids. Eric has
twelve IVs and ten monitoring leads attached to him. In addition to the usual CRT readouts, everything flows through
a state-of-the art computer software package.
The nurse explained that the software allows them to monitor his condition
and any changes minute-by-minute. This allows them to quickly adjust the combination of drugs and fluids to provide
the maximum "best treatment" for Eric's particular condition at every moment. This is providing Eric the best possible
chance of surviving this accident.
We got past today's crisis but the doctor has prepared us to expect several
more in the next few days.
We also know more about how the accident occurred but the why remains
unclear. I'm really too tired right now to go into it. Maybe in the next update. We will try to catch a
few hours sleep tonight before going back to the hospital in the morning. We have friends and family staying to keep
watch tonight and I so thank them for their sacrifice.
Thanks to all of you who sent prayers and good wishes. We appreciate
it so much.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Monday, March 06, 2006 7:49 AM
Subject: Eric's Accident
Dear Friends and Family,
I thought I would take a few moments before we head back to the hospital
to share with you what we know about Eric's motorcycle accident. I do this in the hope that those of you who ride them,
have children who ride, or even know someone who rides will emphasize the importance of wearing a full helmet.
This is what we know from the police investigation and eyewitness accounts.
Eric was coming home from work around 8:30 p.m. He was in the right-hand
lane approaching the exit to IH 35. In the lane to his left and somewhat ahead of Eric was a Ford Explorer.
In the next lane to the left and somewhat in front of the Explorer was a white VW.
The driver of the VW apparently realized he was going to miss his exit
and darted across the three lanes to his right to reach the exit for IH 35. The driver of the Explorer slammed his breaks
on to avoid hitting the white VW.
A few months before this happened, Eric had to use the shoulder to avoid
another vehicle that pulled the same stupid stunt at a different exit. We surmise that Eric began slowing down and moved
to the right shoulder to avoid the possibility that the Explorer would also swerve to the right to avoid the VW.
Continuing from the police investigation, just past the point where Eric
moved over, the shoulder of the road narrows from seventeen feet to four feet and is lined with concrete barriers. The
brake pedal on the right side of the motorcycle dragged against the barrier and threw the cycle into the wall.
Eric was traveling between 50 and 60 mph. He hit a metal I-beam
that supports the IH 35 exit sign headfirst.
The VW, of course, did not stop. The Explorer did, fortunately,
because the driver was a doctor in training as an ER doctor. He immediately began treating Eric and made sure no one
tried to move him until the ambulance arrived.
Had Eric not worn his full helmet, he would have died instantly.
Please share this story with anyone who rides without a helmet. I know the many studies out there that prove that wearing
a helmet has no effect on the overall motorcycle accident death rate at speeds above 13 mph. But wearing one does significantly
reduce death and disability due to head injuries.
Many of you have asked how we are doing now.
What we are going through right now is every parent's worst nightmare.
From the moment we answered the door Saturday night and the police officer told us we needed to get to the hospital right
away, the emotional stress is nearly unbearable. The outpouring of love and support from the firefighter and police
communities has helped tremendously.
Diana and I had no idea of the number of lives Eric touched. I
think nearly 100 firefighters and police officers from all the communities around us have come to the hospital to hold our
hands, pray, and cry with us.
The Fire Chief from Leon Valley, the city where Eric works as a firefighter/Paramedic,
spent most of Saturday night and much of Sunday afternoon and evening with us. The crew of four Leon Valley firefighters
that he works with came Sunday evening and stayed several hours. They shared stories of their antics at the station
that opened a whole new vista of Eric to us. Their stories got us to laughing, which is something I did not think I
would do for a long time to come.
The fire chief from Windcrest, the city where Eric works as a volunteer
firefighter/Paramedic came by Saturday and Sunday also as did around 15 of the other volunteers. We really appreciate
the love and support they showed us by taking time out from their busy lives.
Diana and I are coping with this very difficult time one day, sometimes
one hour, at a time. With the help and emotional support of our friends and neighbors, we will deal with whatever else
comes the same way. Right now, we only pray that Eric survives the next few days.
We thank you for the many expressions of care and concern.
By the way, if anyone would prefer not to receive these updates, please
let me know by e-mail and I will remove your name. (I'm writing this mainly as a way for me to deal with this tragedy
and I fully understand if others would prefer not to share it!)
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 1:57 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Monday
Dear Friends and Family,
Today was a very good day. Eric' condition is still very critical
but stable. What brought near joy to us was the doctor's pronouncement that the prognosis of survival has increased
from poor to guarded. We still have a long road ahead for the next two or three days, but things definitely look better.
The doctor said Eric's survival yesterday was like balancing an egg on
a razor blade. We thank God that these doctors and nurses refuse to give up and fight tenaciously for our son's life.
I think they are miracle workers. They, while proud of their work, say it is what they are SUPPOSED to do. If
God maintains thank you buckets, I certainly hope we filled those today for the doctors and nurses!
As I mentioned yesterday, the doctors threw just about everything they
had into the mix of drugs, chemicals and fluids to get him stable enough for surgery. They succeeded and the surgery
went well.
Eric remained stable through the night and by morning they began
reducing all the things they had done to stabilize him. It was a gradual process throughout the day. Reduce a
drug and monitor the change. Reduce a chemical and monitor the change, reduce a fluid and monitor the change.
Replace a strong drug for a weaker one and monitor the change.
Their goal was to reduce the drastic measures to much lower levels while
keeping his condition as stable as possible. The purpose, as a doctor told me, was to prepare for the challenges ahead
by increasing the treatment options. They did an excellent job today.
As of 11:45 p.m. they had substantially reduced the amount of chemicals,
drugs and fluids. Eric's blood pressure was down by 25 points, which was great news for the swelling in his brain.
Although the brain continues to swell from the bruising, the rate seems to have slowed significantly.
One of the problems they had to deal with yesterday was his blood became
too acidic. They call this acidosis and it interferes with the efforts to remove fluids from his blood. (They
wanted to reduce the volume to reduce the pressure in the brain.) Unfortunately, if you have acidosis and reduce blood
volume, you increase the acid content of the remaining blood which interferes greatly with the effort to keep him stable.
They juggled and jinked everything until they got the acidosis down and
then began reducing his fluid volume. By the time we left this evening, the swelling in his tissues was markedly reduced.
His arms and legs looked like they were back to almost normal size.
One new thing they began working on was to try to "wake up" his
stomach so they could begin feeding him. He is in a chemically-induced coma and they have him totally paralyzed.
They gradually reduced the paralytic drugs today and started him on a small amount of liquid food. If his stomach wakes
up (and this is looking good right now) it will help increase the arsenal of future treatments.
Right now, his body is running on stored energy. By getting him
on a liquid diet, his body will have to do less work to stay alive and he can direct more energy to healing.
All-in-all, it was a very good medical day.
On a cautionary note, the doctors still anticipate significant stability
problems in the next two days. His life still hangs in the balance, but at least they will have more options to deal
with future problems. That alone is a blessing worth all the prayers for him!
My daughter and her husband arrived from Georgia around midnight.
They stayed at the hospital with Eric's brother Brian until the wee hours of the morning. Denelle and Robert, I love
you so much for coming in Eric's (and our) hour of need.
This afternoon, Diana's two brothers and her sister came to visit Eric
and lend their emotional support to us. Her sister also brought her daughter Hailey, Eric's cousin. Bobby and Ramona,
Ken and Sandy, Janet and Hailey, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
My two sons and three sisters in Georgia have agreed to wait until later
when we may need additional support. Words cannot express our love for you or how much the support of our family means
to us. Sometimes, it is the only anchor that helps keep us in place.
Despite the good news, the emotional roller coaster continues.
It seems like I go from the depths of despair to the heights of almost normal and back again in minutes. Sometimes the
littlest things seem to trigger emotional breakdown.
When I opened the refrigerator door here at home earlier today to get
a glass of milk, I noticed a shrimp cocktail that Eric had bought earlier on Friday. He mentioned as he left for work
on Saturday that he was looking forward to eating it that night when he got home. The sight of the shrimp left me sitting
on the kitchen floor in tears. The chaplain at the hospital tells me this is normal and it will pass in time.
I certainly hope so.
Brian's wife Renate has been a particular godsend to us. Her support
of Brian comes at a time when we often do not have enough strength for anything more than our great concern for Eric.
Her willingness to dive in to organize things and take on any task is just a great help to all of us. She and Brian
celebrated their one year wedding anniversary in February. We already love her as if she had been part of our family
since forever.
Thank you all for your continued expressions of support and compassion
in our hour of sorrow. I know some of you have faced what we face and sometimes worse. My heart goes out to you
in empathy. To those who have not faced it, I pray it never, ever happens to you. Many learned authors have said
this kind of experience makes you stronger. It is a strength I would gladly forfeit.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 8:44 PM
Subject: Eric update -Tuesday
Dear Friends and Family,
Today was not a good day. As the doctors and we feared, Eric's
condition deteriorated rapidly this morning. They advised us that, barring a miracle, he will not survive.
They are attempting to stabilize him enough to begin brain function tests.
They estimate it will be two days before we know for sure.
This news devastated all of us. Hopefully I will feel well enough
to provide a more complete update tomorrow.
We continue to pray for a miracle and the strength to accept whatever
happens. I thank everyone for the many, many prayers and best wishes offered.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Wednesday, March 08, 2006 5:00 AM
Subject: Eric update - Tuesday Additional
Dear Friends and Family,
My emotions run the gamut from absolute despair to a raging anger ...
at God, at the world, at the jerk in the white VW who possibly triggered this whole mess, at the guy next to me in the elevator
laughing with his friend, and even at Eric for ignoring my advice not to buy that stupid motorcycle.
I want to gather Eric in my arms and cuddle and comfort him as I did
when he was a little child and scraped his knee. Yet, at the same time, I want to run away from this whole horror and
I can't. I want to lie down and sleep forever but can't seem to get more than a couple of hours without nightmares awakening
me. I want to take away the pain Diana suffers but know there is nothing I can do beyond a hug and a kiss.
I feel guilty for ignoring Brian and Renate, my daughter, Denelle, and
Robert, for not having the words right now to comfort them. I feel guilty for often focusing more on my pain and less
on others. I feel irritated by my indecision ... or inability ... to make decisions right now. That, perhaps more
than anything else, worries me because I have never had a problem making decisions in the face of uncertainty. I fear
not having the strength to carry the burdens I know are yet to come.
I want someone to come and take away this terrible, terrible pain I feel
but know that no one, not even God, can do that right now.
I've been sitting here for an hour now wondering whether or not to leave
the above writing in this update. Is it too personal? Too much about me? Do I really want to burden
others with my suffering this way? Ultimately, I decided to leave it. I'm writing this partly as a way for
me to cope. And it might help others, who go through this, to prepare themselves in some small way.
The doctor told us, yesterday morning, that Eric was again unstable.
His sodium levels were very high. One of the basic brain functions is control of sodium levels and it appeared that
Eric's brain was not doing this. In fact, most of the control of Eric's vitals is now external and that is not
a good sign for survival.
When I asked about brain death, the doctor said it was too early to run
those tests. They need to get his sodium levels back to normal and stabilize his vital signs. It would take a
couple of days to do this, but they planned to run the brain function tests as soon after that as they could. He also
said it is very likely that Eric will die.
I think we all felt like we received a punch in the stomach. It
was not totally unexpected but, still, after the previous good day and despite the doctors' warnings of more crises, this
news was devastating.
I can't tell you what a blessing it is to have Renate, my daughter-in-law, here
with us. She lends far more than her share of strength to help us keep up our hope and belief in a favorable outcome.
Her constant faith in a favorable outcome for Eric provides a rock of support. We cannot thank her enough
for being Brian's rock when we cannot.
My daughter, Denelle, has risen to this occasion far beyond what I thought
she could do. Her calmness in the face of her own overwhelming grief is both a surprise and a lesson to me. The
gentle hugs and a stroke on the back mean so very much right now.
Eric had many visitors from the firefighter community yesterday.
These guys shared with us many wonderful stories about Eric. I particularly want to mention Chief Stan Irwin of
the Leon Valley Fire Department. He took on the burden of coordinating Eric's health insurance with the hospital.
Chief, you have no idea how much we appreciate your help and support.
Assistant Chief Lee from Leon Valley stopped by and shared some stories
about Eric and his job interview. Thanks, Chief, for the smiles you brought and the warm feeling you left with me.
It was desperately needed at the time.
Eric really loves the department and the guys he works with. He
often says he has not had to work a day since he got the job there. He said no matter how nasty the job, you can't call
it work when you are having so much fun!
Last week I was a little concerned that Eric seemed to have no obvious
goals in life. At the breakfast table one morning, I asked him about it. "Dad," he said, "I don't have any goals
right now. I achieved everything I ever really wanted; a job as a paid firefighter. I'm just going to enjoy that
for now." I think back with some sadness at the many goals I set and achieved but didn't stop to enjoy because I was
working on my next goals. A lesson in life, maybe?
Some of the guys he works with came to be with him last night.
Thank you so much for relieving us so we could come home to get some rest.
Several of our Windcrest city officials stopped by yesterday to visit
Eric and share stories with us about Eric. Lori and Joe from the police department and Ronnie the city administrator,
thanks for taking the time to talk and sympathize with us last night. Eric loves the city and thinks all you guys are
special. I think if he had not loved firefighting so much, he might have become a policeman.
I just realized that my Day Four update was actually Day Three.
It is too easy to lose track of time. Each day seems endless at times.
We continue to pray for the doctors, nurses, and that God will work a
miracle for Eric. We can not thank you enough for the e-mails of support, sympathy and prayers for Eric and for
us.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2006 9:26 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Wednesday
Dear Friends and Family,
On Tuesday, we (and you) prayed for a miracle after the doctor's told
us Eric was dying. Tuesday night, after working frantically all day, the medical people began getting his vital
signs under control. Eric was stable all day. The sodium levels which had so concerned his doctors were reduced
enough to take Eric down for a CAT scan.
The results of the scan were not promising. The bruising to his
right brain was more extensive and severe than we all originally thought. Unfortunately, the scan also showed some losses
in the left side of brain that we had not suspected. Apparently, Eric was without an airway long enough to cause some
brain damage in addition to that caused by the accident.
Obviously, the doctors tried to prepare us for a worst case
scenario. They warned us that Eric may require months, if not years, of intensive care to survive. Emotionally,
I doubt anyone could ever prepare for something like this.
His neurosurgeon, as well as the doctor in charge of Eric's overall treatment,
also warned us that we are facing a possibility of other organ failure as well as secondary infections like pneumonia
that could be impossible to overcome.
Our plan, for now, is to hope that all the bad things predicted will
hold off for a week to ten days to allow the brain swelling to decrease. Once that happens, we will know better whether
his brain will ever regain control of his body processes.
Overall, Wednesday was another good day/bad day combination. We
thank everyone for their prayers. We thank God for the miracles he performed so far through these amazing doctors
and nurses. We continue to pray for a miracle for Eric's healing.
It is just so very hard to pray "Thy will be done," when I really want
to pray, "Thy will be done my way, please." The minister who is the chaplain for the Windcrest Fire Department counseled
us yesterday. He said something that I found comforting. If Eric dies, he will reach the other side healed and
whole.
The people in the firefighting/EMS community have been a rock of support
for me. Every day, some of them come to visit Eric, grieve with us, and comfort us.
I am so grateful that BAMC has a liberal visitor policy. They allow
us to see Eric anytime we want no matter what how busy they are doing their "magic" to keep him with us. We
limit visitors to no more than two or three at one time and everyone has had an opportunity to visit who wanted to see him.
BAMC, in addition to being a premier trauma center, is a training hospital.
Yesterday, besides the regular nurse assigned to him, Eric had the help of an anesthesiologist and a battlefield medic trainee
and his instructor.
Eric would enjoy knowing that he was still able to contribute to helping
others gain their skills in emergency medicine. When Eric did his rotations during Paramedic training, he always appreciated
the opportunity to learn from actual patients.
I mentioned before that Eric's friends tell us stories that often make
us laugh and give us an insight to Eric that we, as parents, typically don't often see. I thought I would share some
of these stories with all of you.
Chief Winn of the Windcrest Volunteer Fire Department told us of
his memorable first meeting with Eric. Eric was a 12-year old middle school student. He walked to and from school
and nearly everyday on his way home he would stop at the Windcrest fire station to talk with anyone who was there.
One day, he asked Chief Winn if the department had a junior firefighter
division. The chief said no but he would start one if Eric put together a group.
The next day Eric showed up after school with a friend and said to the
chief, "So, do we get badges?"
Eric always loved a good prank. It didn't matter if he was on the
giving or the receiving end, either. I remember several years ago that he offered to help his Uncle Ken put up a fence
around his 20 acre property. He agreed to work as long as there was enough water. (It gets hot in Texas!)
As luck would have it the water ran out. When Eric told him about
it, Ken said he would run back to town to get some more. He left Eric to continue driving fence posts into the
ground. (Eric was too young to drive then.) When he returned with the water, he found Eric sitting exactly where
he had stopped working. There were no more fence posts driven.
When Ken asked Eric why he hadn't continued putting up the posts, Eric
replied, "No water. No work."
Today, before we go to the hospital, I think we will start trying
to set a schedule for all of us. No matter how we wish, responsibilities outside the hospital do not go away.
Life does go on.
Thanks for all the prayers. We appreciate all of you.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
Sent: Friday, March 10, 2006 5:29 AM
Subject: Eric Accident - Thursday update
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric had a quiet day Thursday. He was mostly
stable but had a little hitch Thursday evening just before we left to come home. It was interesting because five family
members were in the room when it started and we stayed throughout the process of stabilizing him. Though he was never
in any real trouble, it was sometimes a little scary with the doctor, anesthesia specialist, and his nurse all working together.
There was no panic or frantic activity. Just
a dedicated group who knew exactly what they needed to do and did it in a practiced and precise manner. This was unlike
Tuesday when they had eight doctors and three nurses working frantically for more than five straight hours to keep Eric going.
Had last night's action become more intense,
they would have asked us to move out of the way.
There was one amusing (and impressive, to me) incident
Thursday. Brigadier General Gilman is the Commanding General at Brooke Army Medical Center. He and the chaplain
of the Windcrest Fire Department are friends. The chaplain stopped by the General's office Wednesday and mentioned that
Eric (who is a volunteer and a Lieutenant with the WVFD) was in the ICU.
Thursday at lunchtime, the General walked into the
ICU to visit Eric and his family. Eric's nurse (who is an Army Captain) had just sat down in the ICU breakroom to eat
his lunch. Suddenly, the hospital commander walked in and said he wanted to speak with him. The nurse told us
later that he was stuck with a fork full of food halfway to his mouth and didn't know whether to drop the fork and jump to
attention or what!
My daughter and her husband were in the room with Eric
when he and the General walked in. General Gilman is board certified in both cardiology and internal medicine.
Denelle said the nurse seemed to answer all the General's questions but she thought it was strange that he was standing
at attention while doing so. She said General Gilman held Eric's hand for a few minutes and said they were all praying
for him.
Then he turned to Denelle and asked her if the staff
were keeping her informed and answering questions. She assured him that the service provided to the family was outstanding.
He told her that if we have any questions or problems to please call him direct.
After the shift change that night, the nurse stayed
a few minutes to talk with us. He said it was the first time in his four years at BAMC that he had seen a General visit
a civilian patient. In fact, he said it was the first time for most in the ICU to even see the hospital commander.
Of course, he's only been commander for a short time.
I mentioned that everyone in the ICU seemed to offer
an extra measure of personal concern for Eric right from the beginning. (Not that anyone else received any lesser quality
of care, just that they all seem to personally have a greater interest in Eric.) The nurse said it is because Eric is
a firefighter/Paramedic and they all view him as one of their own. It brought tears to my eyes.
On a more personal note, Diana and I talked Wednesday
night and again Thursday morning about our tragedy. We decided that we can not continue to let this crisis manage us.
Rather, we must start managing it for the sake of our health and sanity.
We know that Eric is in the best possible hands right
now. It is heart-breaking, knowing there is absolutely nothing we can do for him to make him well. We must rely
on the doctors and nurses caring for him.
To continue pouring all of our time and emotional energy
into a vigil at his bedside does nothing to help him. Ultimately, it will create more problems because the
world has not and will not stop for us. We have bills and responsibilities that will not go away. We also need
to begin the process of taking over Eric's financial responsibilities.
The shock of Eric's accident nearly broke us.
We both would sacrifice everything, including our lives, to bring Eric back the way he was before. As a good friend
often says, "Life ain't fair and, sometimes, your mama don't love you." Life certainly has been most unfair right now
but we will, as the saying implies, deal with it no matter how unfair.
We know going forward there will be more setbacks and
more shocks. For now, we plan to do our best to deal with everything and maintain our control of every aspect of our
lives except Eric. We plan to start using the many resources offered to us to help free up some of our time to get away
from the hospital and deal with all the other aspects of living.
We now know almost everyone caring for Eric.
We trust them to watch over him just as we would if we knew how. Diana and I live just five miles from the hospital.
Brian and Renate live a little closer. The hospital has all our phone numbers. At anytime the hospital needs
our presence, one of us will be there in less than eight minutes. Thank God I don't have to work so I can stay close
during business hours.
We are working on a schedule that will keep at least
one family member at the hospital from around 7:00 a.m. until 11:00 p.m. We will probably call on Eric's friends to
fill gaps for us if (or when) we all have to be away at some time. We want to make sure someone is there to greet
Eric's visitors and to be the first response if Eric gets into trouble.
At night, the ICU personnel try to maintain a
normal sleep cycle and frown on unnecessary stimulation. We know that some of his friends come at odd hours of the late
night or early morning because they can not get away at other times. We would like them to know that even if one
of us is not there, we greatly appreciate them caring enough to come. We don't know if Eric has any awareness of what
goes on around him (we suspect not) but just in case he does, we remain sure that short visits can only help.
Today I spent most of the day taking care of car repairs
that were planned for earlier in the week and beginning the process of trying to piece together Eric's financial position.
I managed to get in touch with the banks he uses and the credit companies. Many of his bills were due but everyone agreed
to a 30 to 60 day delay while we take care of the power of attorney we will need.
Friday or Monday we will need to find an attorney who
can help us with a durable power of attorney so that we can take full control and make all decisions for Eric. We still
have to arrange to remove the motorcycle from the Live Oak PD impound yard. Personally, I dread that. I'm inclined
to tell the finance company to just come and repo the damn thing. I never want to see it again.
We also need to find all of his insurance policies,
... just a myriad of irritating little details you never think about. I wish Eric had maintained a list of all his accounts
and account numbers, as well as his insurance policies, and so forth. I know I plan to create such a list for us, just
in case some one has to do for us what I need to do for Eric.
We are, in many ways I think, becoming emotionally
numb. We still suffer brief bouts of grieving that seem to paralyze us at odd times throughout the day. Nights
are still the worst for me, obviously, because I sit here typing this instead of sleeping.
We continue praying and we thank all of you who not
only pray but get your friends and relatives to pray as well. Your many e-mails help support us and we are grateful
for the support you all give. Many of you say you just don't know what to say to help. I assure just a note that
you are thinking of us really helps.
We especially thank the speech therapists at San Antonio
ISD who put together a "care package" of snacks, fruit, and drinks for us. Your expression of love and concern for Diana
really help right now.
I'll end this on a good note. On Saturday morning
just before Eric left for work, he poked his head in my office here and said he was taking off for work. As I often
do, I got up, walked over to him, gave a hug and told him I loved him. He hugged me back and told me he loved me,
too. I'm so glad those are the last words I remember from him.
Sincerely,
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2006 7:04 AM
Subject: Eric Accident - Friday update
Dear Friends and Family,
Many people asked for our complete address so I included it at the end
of this update.
Eric remains in extremely critical condition. His prognosis is
still poor. Every day that his vital signs and blood chemistry remain stable is a big plus for him.
He has five nurses (that I know of for sure) assigned to him. Each
nurse works an eight hour shift. For now, these nurses work only with Eric. This is very good and comforting news
for us. Over time, they become very familiar with the unique ways Eric responds to their efforts to keep him alive.
If Eric becomes unstable, their intimate knowledge allows them to respond more quickly to bring his body back under control.
My plan to try to manage our lives around this horrible accident went
pretty much out the window yesterday. They took Eric downstairs for another CT scan of his brain in the morning.
When that happens we have to wait for a few hours to get the results. Everyone in the family went to the hospital to
await the results with us.
The waiting time and uncertainty place extreme stress on us.
The mood swings are just so hard and so extreme. One moment I feel quite confident that everything will work
out fine. In a blink of an eye, it seems, I sink into the depths of despair so bleak that I can not even stand to be
around people. Diana handles it by walking the hallways alone. I tend to go outside and smoke a cigarette.
I smoke far too much.
I know lack of sleep, for me, aggravates the problem. I dread going
to sleep and I dread waking up. If this pattern continues through Monday, I plan to go to our doctor for some chemical
help.
A resident who works with Dr. Perez, Eric's neurosurgeon, spoke with
us around 4:00 p.m. He showed us the CT scan from the morning side-by-side with the last scan. The edema
appears to be spreading from the bruised areas, but they are not sure if it indicates more damage. They see no increase
in the brain pressure but the swelling has not gone down yet. He continues to remain stable, so that is a good sign.
The doctor explained the spreading edema as similar to how a severe
bruise will heal on your arm. The initial injury will raise a large bump. As the bruise heals, the swelling tends
to spread over a wider area as the lump becomes smaller.
He also told us that moving Eric from the ICU to their CT scanner room
is a potentially life-threatening process. As long as Eric remains stable, they plan to reduce the scans
from every other day to every five days. Of course, if he has a major unstable incident, they will get another scan
as soon as possible after he stabilizes to assess the condition of his brain.
The result of yesterday's scan is no change. He has a very bad
brain injury, it is still too early to tell how much brain function Eric lost, the prognosis for survival is poor. The
next ten days to two weeks will allow his brain to heal enough to begin determining the extent of damage.
Fortunately, Diana and I do not have to make a decision about keeping
him alive on mechanical long-term life support. Eric made that decision long ago, as did we all in this family.
Using machines to keep us alive is an option we reject. Diana and I remain, however, fiercely determined to keep
him alive long enough for his brain to heal.
Diana's relatives and my daughter and son-in-law fixed us a meal last
night. It is the first time in a week that I have really enjoyed the taste of food. I really still
have no appetite and could easily skip eating altogether. The guys from Leon Valley FD plan to cook dinner for
us tonight. They are a wonderful group of men whose support in this trying time means so very much to us.
Many of you have sent messages of condolence and support. We can
not even begin to tell you how much it means. I'm sorry for not answering each of you individually. I hope this
"thank you" will work for now. Eventually, I do plan to respond, I just don't know when.
One person advised us to apply as soon as possible for Social Security
disability for Eric because there is a six month delay in getting approval. We had not even thought about that.
It makes me wonder what else we may overlook. I think I will soon have to sit down and make a list of where we are and
where we need to be.
I dreaded today (Saturday) because it was just a week ago tonight that
we learned of Eric's accident. It has been and remain the most horrible week of our lives.
We continue to pray and we continue to thank all of you who help us pray
for Eric's recovery. We thank you for asking so many others including those in other countries to join is in prayer.
Most of you don't know Eric. I attached a picture of him taken
in January 2006.
I'll end on a funny note. Rudy Davila of the Windcrest Police Department
is a good friend of Eric's. Eric, of course, loves to play pranks on his friends. Rudy shared a story about a
recent prank Eric pulled when Rudy was walking into the station. He saw Eric holding what looked like an automatic weapon,
wearing camouflage clothing, face mask, and a big grin on this face. He says it scared a few gray hairs back into his
head. Eric laughed and grinned at Rudy's startled look. He said Eric proudly displayed his new toy; you got it,
a multi-shot BB gun.
Rudy said he pranked him right back by giving the third degree on Windcrest's
ordinance that prohibited use of this type of weapon and the citation that he was about to give him. He says the
look on Eric's face was precious! Tit for tat!
Dave and Diana Dopp
301 Windcrest Drive
Windcrest, TX 78239
***
Sent: Sunday, March 12, 2006 9:15 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Saturday
Dear Friends and Family,
Today was another good day for Eric. He was mostly stable with
only a few unstable moments quickly resolved. He has a slight fever, not unexpected, but they have him on Tylenol
and antibiotics to control it.
I feel a little cowardly tonight. It was just a week ago that the
Windcrest police officer knocked on our door to tell us to rush to BAMC for Eric. The memories of that night are so
strong that I just can't face going back to the hospital tonight.
When we visited Eric this morning I felt nauseous walking done those
long hallways back to the ICU. I kept having flashbacks to that first walk last week. The fear hit me just as
hard this morning as that first time.
Diana and I spent an hour with him, telling him how much we loved him.
It is just so hard to see him lying there without moving or responding. I feel that I have to keep my feelings and sorrow
bottled up until I can get somewhere alone. I suppose it is that macho, gotta' be strong for everyone thing. It
was a relief to leave the hospital this afternoon and come home.
Diana and her sister left to go on a shopping trip. I suppose one
could call it "retail therapy" because it helps her get some short-term relief from the grieving. My daughter Denelle,
Robert and I rode back with a friend who visited Eric. Dee offered to pick up Eric's motorcycle from the Live Oak impound
yard. He will also store it in his barn until we decide what to do with it.
Right now, I plan to let the finance company repossess it. I will
never have another payment made on the thing. If it was not financed, I would destroy it. It sickened me that
some vulture approached us a few days ago about buying it, "at a good price," of course. The vulture talked with my
son about it. Had he talked with me I would have been rather less than pleasant towards him.
In any event, I will not sell the motorcycle. I don't think I would
want that on my conscience. If the finance company does not want it, I'll just burn it and bury it.
It seems like everything irritates me lately. We went to breakfast in
the morning before going to see Eric. Seated at the table next to us was a family with a young child, maybe four
or five, who was whiney and crying. It was all I could do to stop myself from screaming at them to shut the kid up.
On the elevator up to the ICU floor a stranger laughed at something his friend said. I was almost overwhelmingly
tempted to ask him how dare he laugh on such a tragic day.
Contrasting the emotional extremes is an almost emotionless feeling that
strikes suddenly at different times during the day. During these spells, I feel almost like a cold, calculating machine.
I look down on my emotional self as foolishly wasting time and energy. I'm sure I don't like that part of myself at
all, yet I have as little control over it as any other emotional state.
There were a couple of really bright spots in the day today. Our
niece Teresa came to visit Eric. It constantly surprises me how such a beautiful young woman can offer so
much comfort and compassion with a hug and an, "I love you, Uncle Dave."
The other bright spot was the guys from Leon Valley FD who cooked a huge
barbecue dinner for our friends and family. We had fifteen people plus three firefighters and one late arrival.
They even brought tables and chairs. We had food enough for an army. And it was good. And now I also know
why Eric had so much trouble with the Weight Watchers' diet he tried!
It amazes me that these guys have such an ability to comfort us when
I know they grieve just as we do. I wish I had their strength.
They told the story of the day they went to teach some kids about what
to do if they ever catch on fire. I'm sure you've heard of "stop, drop, and roll". When they asked for a volunteer
to illustrate the procedure, Eric surprised them all by just flopping down on the mat and rolling. The kids, of course,
laughed but got the message. The guys said they now call that maneuver, "the Dopp flop". We all had a good laugh
about it.
Of course, that is why Eric is so good relating to children. It
never embarrassed him to do foolish or childish things when he worked with kids. He willingly did anything necessary
to get a message across to them that might save their lives someday. He always had the knack of relating to them
on their level. I suppose it is the big kid in him.
One thing that really bothers me is my inability to reach out to comfort
my other children, although that seems to be changing a little. Last night Brian and I talked for I suppose
fifteen minutes about how he feels. This has been the longest one-on-one conversation about Brian since the
accident.
I still have not talked with my daughter because she more readily expresses
her emotions. I fear that if she breaks down, I will go to pieces. I am so blessed that she understands that and
tries so hard to be strong for me. I know her husband helps her and that is a blessing to us all.
I sit here this Sunday morning finishing up this e-mail, feeling
numb inside and grateful for it. At the same time, I feel so fragile, as if the slightest touch will break me into a
thousand pieces. God, I just wish this turmoil would end. I resent everything going on and just want my normal
life back. Selfish, I suppose, but nevertheless there it is.
Diana and I talked very little yesterday. We both committed
to keeping our relationship strong. One danger people face in this type of situation is destruction of their marriage
and family. There are times when we both need to separate to grieve and we each wanted to make sure the other did not
feel rejected. Fortunately, Diana and I are best friends and have been for more than thirty-five years. Despite
my numbness, deep down I still know she is my greatest strength and support.
I slept well again last night for the second time in the past week.
Perhaps I'm finally getting over the shock. I hope so because exhaustion on top of everything else certainly does not
help.
Diana's brother and sister and families plan to leave today.
Diana will go to the hospital with them for an hour or so then come back home. I'll go down after they leave.
I'm glad they came and I know Eric will appreciate it if he recovers.
Today (Sunday) begins week two of this horrid journey. Your expressions
of support and prayer for us and our son have helped more than we could ever repay. I pray that this coming week will
find me less fragmented and battered than I feel today.
Dave and Diana Dopp
Windcrest, Texas
***
Sent: Monday, March 13, 2006 9:00 AM
Subject: Eric Update - Sunday
Dear Friends and Family,
Eric remains in very critical but stable condition. Every stable
day is a blessing because it helps the healing process.
Eric's broken right arm is worse than we thought. The orthopedic
surgeon says the cast tends to shut off the blood flow to his hand. If the neurosurgeon and the other doctors agree
that Eric is strong enough, he plans to operate to fix the broken bones (the bone in his upper arm and both bones in his lower
arm.) He wants to use pins and screws so they can get rid of the cast.
If he can't stand a long surgery, they will use an external support frame
and pin the bones together that way. The doctor says the external procedure will only take about thirty minutes.Either
way, we need to loose the cast. Tentatively, the operation will be on Tuesday.
Diana's family left Sunday morning. We are so very glad they came
to be with Eric and us. Janet, Diana's sister, helped tremendously by getting Diana out to go shopping. It helped
her so much and I so appreciate that.
I mentioned the other day the family fixed dinner for us Friday night.
Although everyone played a part, I said that my daughter and son-in-law cooked. Actually it was my son and daughter-in
law. That was a typo on my part. Brian grilled steaks and salmon. They were very good.
My daughter and son-in-law spent two days cleaning our house and doing
laundry. Words can not begin to express how much that means to Diana and me. Diana has a "thing" about not having
guests over if the house is not spotless. I think we could have the President over today and she would not be unhappy!
Sunday is the first day in a week that I have felt like my emotions were
under some reasonable control. I've been trying to prepare myself to go through the difficult task of sorting out Eric's
life and taking those steps necessary to keep it in some semblance of order.
I still have tremendous problems with short term memory. I'll think
of something I need to do or say but five minutes later can not remember what it was. I need to carry a small notebook
to jot done those thoughts and ideas to jog my memory. I think that would be one of the things at the top of the list
of things a parent should do if they face what we face.
I live or die by my cell phone. It is the "lifeline" to the hospital
in case anything goes wrong with Eric while we are away. I find that I constantly pat myself to make sure it is on me.
I carry an extra fully charged battery in case the one in the phone runs down when I'm away from the charger. when
I lay down to sleep or rest, the phone is right next to my head so I will be sure to hear it if it rings.
I went into a near panic Sunday when I realized at home that I did
not have it on me. I searched frantically and could not find it. My daughter saved the day by calling my
number. I found the phone by following the ringing sound. It was right where I had put it ... in a spot where
I wouldn't forget where it was. Strange feeling.
Diana feels much better. Knowing there is nothing we can do to
make the situation better, she finally turned it over to God. She is now at peace with whatever God wills for Eric.
That is an answer to a prayer for me because I have been so worried about her. Now if I could only get there myself.
I've said before Diana and I are best friends. We still often sit
and just talk, sometimes for hours at a time. The past week has been difficult because neither of us could "just talk".
Our concern for Eric just overwhelmed everything. Sunday, for the first time since the accident, we finally were able
to "just talk" again. It was a great comfort to me and I hope to her as well.
Tim Villanueva, a firefighter with Windcrest, started a web site
for Eric. He's gathering pictures to post and has a link to the weblog where Eric's friends can leave messages.
He also puts these daily updates on the site. For those who might like to know a little more about Eric, the site is
http://lt38.tripod.com. "Lt" is for lieutenant and "38" is Eric's badge number at Windcrest.
As I mentioned before, Eric is still in very critical condition and the prognosis remains poor. The doctors and
nurses are quite surprised at how stable he is. They can't explain it, but I think it is the power of all the prayers
pouring in for him.
We've received e-mails letting us know that there are prayer groups all over the world praying for him. we
can't thank you all enough for all your thoughts and prayers. We never dreamed that complete and total strangers could
have so much compassion and concern.
For
